I Know Saying 'I Love You' Is Ok: A Return to Rumi, Hafiz, and Sirius

You Melted My Heart

With just one glance, you melted my heart! One glance of love, pure love.

Sympathy, understanding, beauty, wisdom! You are beautiful!

And suddenly, I no longer felt alone.

I don't know your name, but suddenly,  on that cold morning in Derby, I felt loved. Connected. Understood. Valued. No longer alone.

My heart stirred. Warmth seeped in!

I remembered, with tears, love long gone by. The pain of the last 10 months. The one(s) I loved so deeply, bore my soul to - so open. I confessed my deepest love and it was platonic, it really was.

I called you my soulmate and I meant it.

Finally I had found someone like me.

And of course, I have found many soulmates in the course of my life.

Most of them, I still love. I still think of them as soulmates. I still try (often in vain, with little response, to my heart's pain), to keep in touch.

What is a soulmate? I used to think, to know that they were for life. Then I gave up trying to keep in touch. Maybe I was wrong, I thought. Maybe people had to move on and drift apart. Maybe I needed to finally make new friends, closer to home...

And I have. I am.

But at what cost?

Could I make up with...Angel star; merlin, my wise, beloved sage; moon goddess, who taught me the worship and respect of another's body and sanctuary; fire child, who truly challenged me; my beautiful lamb, who I've tried so hard not to miss; the funky one, who played with me; wood mage, the one who first took me walking in the thundery summer rain; star child, the one who showed me his beautiful music; sun man, whose sparkling eyes twinkle to me even now in my head...

There are many more.

I have been so, deeply hurt by Merlin.

I have become afraid of love again.

As the light of silver opens me up once again, once more I write poetry, I am open to the deepest, deepest love of all others whose lives I have touched, and still touch. I am open to forgiveness. Through poetry and painting, maybe once more I can show people I truly love them.

Maybe I can truly show that it is platonic. Maybe there will be no repercussions this time.

I begin to trust the spiritual guides again. I begin to open up to ancient wisdom. The star meditation is for me first... I needed it! A beautiful star of origin. Of progress. Of hope. Of ascension. Of returning to me. But even better. With greater clarity I express my love. I acknowledge my love, my loss, my hurt, my pain, my longing, my need, my desire...my joy, my innate forgiveness, my desire to express.

And I will speak. With wisdom, with clarity, with honesty, with love, with gentleness, with construction, with truth. With poetry.