Mums and Nature
The lesson for me today is just how healing a walk by myself through the countryside can be. By myself, I can set a really fast pace, but a pace just right for me. I get in touch with my own mind. I do also like walking long walks with other adults to encourage me and keep me company. And I used to love walking with my daughter, although it was hard to get a proper pace going.
This makes me think - how can Mums get into nature? Bringing up a child 0-5 can be the most anti-nature or anti-eco experience in a person's life. Nappies, toys, clothes, TV, indoor play, story books...Or maybe not. Maybe people can be cut off from nature their whole lives.
I bought a tie-it-yourself sling for £60 with the intention of taking my daughter hiking in it but it was such a faff to tie it, it was too long, and I didn't have anyone to help me with tying positions, so after Lizzy outgrew the newborn cradle tying position (which was a lifesaver - so soothing for her, like a mini-womb), I just ended up carrying Lizzy by hand, which I enjoyed but it gave me a curved posture, as I used to stick my belly out to balance her on it, which has since corrected itself. I also used to carry her on my shoulders and hips, always regularly changing position to avoid discomfort. It's a great workout and bonding experience! I really recommend it! The pram was great for an occasional rest and town/city power walking!
But I do want to do long distance walking with Lizzy. I'm not sure when we'll next have the opportunity but I will plan something, somehow....
We were lucky that we chose a house right by the river in Hall Green. I'm glad I had that idea!!! When we moved only a mile away in Sparkhill, we stopped walking down there - it shows how lazy you can get as a Mum but it's not laziness really - when you're a Mum, 1 mile of walking is the same as 2 or 3 miles to a non-Mum, or it was for me anyway! Because of the need to change nappies, find a breastfeeding or bottle feeding place, get the child warm, get food supplies, etc...With planning it can work, but planning can slip easily if you're like me and not really a super Mum!
That's why councils invest so much in parks. Everyone can get there easily and use them... Use prams on them. And parks sufficed for us very well but the river was amazing. The wilds and mountains would've been amazing. The wilds without planning or heating would've been a nightmare. Other Mums do it though, I wish I'd known some hillwalking Mums back in the day to support me...I know I'll find some if there's a next time :-) And even find some now for Lizzy! Oo idea.....
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Thursday, 12 April 2012
Gold and Silver Revisited (Draft)
Gold and Silver Poem
Two forces come together this week - the beautiful strong, warm gold of the sun, of our deepest love and our deepest emotional pain, released through the deep love of the sun - of our son - of the love of Jesus whose deepest, most painful love and sacrifice he gave unwillingly to mankind...and we reasoned it as pure destiny and divine intention... as did Jesus himself... but I still believe there was another way.
(Partly channeled: 'You don't know how hard it was at the time - you try thinking of another way').
The silver... the glorious divine wisdom, the lightest of light energies... like a silver mist, a gossamer thread so fine one can barely feel it... the lightest of humour, of wisdom, of mirth, of love...
I can live with neither on their own, I need both, common sense says... For a year or more I focused on the light... love and light. I became so light at points that I could float. At times, I meditated so often I did float in a metaphorical sense and floated too far away! I alienated myself from my parents, from anyone with a 'low vibration': I shunned those who suffered from anger problems at some points in my development. I felt at points that light would only do so much. Creating happiness within me was only papering over the cracks - marital separation and moving back home was the only option.
Now I come back to love of all. True inclusive, unconditional love.
I have long wanted to make spiritual healing accessible to those I grew up with. To be able to talk about spiritual stuff to them and give advice in everyday conversation.
Emotional heaviness draws me in.... I enjoy pain... the resolution of it through normal conversation and conflict.... Through the natural pulling downwards of our pain to receive healing, we eventually work ourselves back up to the light!
Meditation and higher vibrational work puts us straight into the light sometimes but at others, when there's deep emotional healing needed, we need to release. To feel, to cry. To talk about our hurt feelings... to shout? I don't like shouting, however.
But more...
The reverse vortex movement....
I wrote a few weeks ago of a vortex of pain. I wanted to create a natural healing method, rather than a method of conscious control and resistance. So this is my method:
The vortex of pain pulls us in.... Its magnetism draws us.... The golden, pulsing, pained soul light is heavy and leaden with love... a deep need for the love of another, pure love to heal it... her.... him.... Oh how I long to heal you and this is the most natural instinct in the world.... No healer training is required for this! This is the pure instinctual, natural loving response to another's deep pain and hurt, longing....
So, we are drawn into the vortex and as healers we may fear various things - what to say, how long to take, what method to use, energy transference... But the gold - the soul's gold of pure love will protect us in this natural healing scenario! So don't worry! We will know when it's naturally over. It will not drain us!
Once the vortex has taken all the healing that is needed, it will naturally begin to spin in the opposite direction, producing the most wonderful healing.... The person that received healing, once they have received all they need, is now capable of giving healing themselves! Of giving the most beautiful energy and light into the world! The healer receives their energy back from the patient and in a natural exchange, like in friendship, the 'patient' can become the healer, giving advice etc or healing themselves!
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
After the session, grounding and centring is helpful. And a breather! Fresh air!
Two forces come together this week - the beautiful strong, warm gold of the sun, of our deepest love and our deepest emotional pain, released through the deep love of the sun - of our son - of the love of Jesus whose deepest, most painful love and sacrifice he gave unwillingly to mankind...and we reasoned it as pure destiny and divine intention... as did Jesus himself... but I still believe there was another way.
(Partly channeled: 'You don't know how hard it was at the time - you try thinking of another way').
The silver... the glorious divine wisdom, the lightest of light energies... like a silver mist, a gossamer thread so fine one can barely feel it... the lightest of humour, of wisdom, of mirth, of love...
I can live with neither on their own, I need both, common sense says... For a year or more I focused on the light... love and light. I became so light at points that I could float. At times, I meditated so often I did float in a metaphorical sense and floated too far away! I alienated myself from my parents, from anyone with a 'low vibration': I shunned those who suffered from anger problems at some points in my development. I felt at points that light would only do so much. Creating happiness within me was only papering over the cracks - marital separation and moving back home was the only option.
Now I come back to love of all. True inclusive, unconditional love.
I have long wanted to make spiritual healing accessible to those I grew up with. To be able to talk about spiritual stuff to them and give advice in everyday conversation.
Emotional heaviness draws me in.... I enjoy pain... the resolution of it through normal conversation and conflict.... Through the natural pulling downwards of our pain to receive healing, we eventually work ourselves back up to the light!
Meditation and higher vibrational work puts us straight into the light sometimes but at others, when there's deep emotional healing needed, we need to release. To feel, to cry. To talk about our hurt feelings... to shout? I don't like shouting, however.
But more...
The reverse vortex movement....
I wrote a few weeks ago of a vortex of pain. I wanted to create a natural healing method, rather than a method of conscious control and resistance. So this is my method:
The vortex of pain pulls us in.... Its magnetism draws us.... The golden, pulsing, pained soul light is heavy and leaden with love... a deep need for the love of another, pure love to heal it... her.... him.... Oh how I long to heal you and this is the most natural instinct in the world.... No healer training is required for this! This is the pure instinctual, natural loving response to another's deep pain and hurt, longing....
So, we are drawn into the vortex and as healers we may fear various things - what to say, how long to take, what method to use, energy transference... But the gold - the soul's gold of pure love will protect us in this natural healing scenario! So don't worry! We will know when it's naturally over. It will not drain us!
Once the vortex has taken all the healing that is needed, it will naturally begin to spin in the opposite direction, producing the most wonderful healing.... The person that received healing, once they have received all they need, is now capable of giving healing themselves! Of giving the most beautiful energy and light into the world! The healer receives their energy back from the patient and in a natural exchange, like in friendship, the 'patient' can become the healer, giving advice etc or healing themselves!
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
After the session, grounding and centring is helpful. And a breather! Fresh air!
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Distance Healing Article
'A 6-month study of 40 advanced AIDS patients exposed to 10 weeks of "distant healing" reported fewer new illnesses, physician visits, and hospitalizations in the "distant healing" group [12].'
Distant Healing has here been put by the author into the 'Intercessory Prayer' group.
However Distant Healing and Intercessory prayer are not necessarily the same thing.
My definitions, which I hope are correct, are as following:
Intercessory Prayer:
I am asking a divine being to heal somebody. This could be an angel, God, saint, whatever.
This could be further broken down as follows:
Physical Complaints
1a) I ask the being to completely cure someone of everything that is wrong.
1b) I ask the being to completely cure someone of a specific ailment.
1c) I ask the being to send healing where it is needed.
(I might do this if I didn't know if the person was ill or not, but wanted to send positive vibes just in case. I might also do it if someone was really obviously on death's door and I'd feel arrogant asking a being to save someone's life in case it was their time etc. if that makes sense).
1e) I could wish for instantanteous recovery or I could wish for gradual recovery.
1f)I could wish for complete cure or I could wish for an improvement of symptoms.
Emotional/Mental Complaints
The same as above:
2a) I ask the being to heal everything that is wrong or causing difficulty
2b) I ask the being to heal a specific issue.
2c) I ask the being to send healing where it's needed.
2d) I often ask a being to send a loving message or a hug to someone that they will receive in a way that's comfortable for them and in line with their beliefs.
2e) I could wish for instantanteous recovery or I could wish for gradual recovery.
2f)I could wish for complete cure or I could wish for an improvement of symptoms.
Distant Healing
Distant healing to me is the same as above only I'm doing it, rather than the divine or ethereal being. Spiritual healing to me is learning to be a human healing force with similar powers to the divine or ethereal beings.
So it would be the same as above:
3a) I send healing energy with the intention of curing all illness currently present in a person.
3b) I send healing energy with the intention of curing a specific ailment.
3c) I ask the energy to go where it's needed - ask it to show me the way. I don't believe energy is conscious on its own although some do, and maybe it has magnetism ie. it could be drawn to the ill part of someone. But I believe I'm kinda working with ethereal beings when I put out this request.
3d) I imagine myself travelling to someone and giving them a loving message or a hug.
3e) I could wish for instantanteous recovery or I could wish for gradual recovery.
3f)I could wish for complete cure or I could wish for an improvement of symptoms.
And as above it's the same for mental and emotional.
Negative Vibes
'Also, if praying for people worked, would strangers praying against them cause them to become sicker? Or, as one of my religious friends put it, "Is God is so stupid that he or she would respond to
popularity contests?"'
I believe we can be stopped from sending negative vibes. I mean if I was God, I would see that as part of my job somehow although it would be time consuming.
I have heard just two stories of people who wished for death or destruction and it happened. Eg. one guy wished for a helicopter to come down and the next day it did. However this guy committed suicide and they weren't mentally healthy (obviously) at the time and I wasn't there so I can't corroborate that.
However I got really paranoid around this area - when I was first told that negative thoughts travel, I couldn't handle that knowledge and responsibility and went mad.
5 years on, after having been a medium for 5 years and having liver with the knowledge that other beings are only a thought away (basically living in a mental environment where every thought I have can potentially provoke a response from other beings out there) I have learned to deal with this more healthily. I've experimented with and set ground rules, current ones being requesting mental privacy in certain circumstances, only asking for advice from ethereal beings when I need it etc.
Through trusting my natural, human ability to be nice (I believe all humans are nice deep down), I trust my thoughts to be innately nice. Through working through trauma regularly as and when it occurs and through reminding myself of basic niceties, I avoid any 'nasty' moments.
Does It Work?
I don't honestly know. I don't make a log of successes etc. And how can you ever really know on another person if you're not there to witness what else is going on in their life?
On myself I can definitely definitely say that when I've engaged in self healing, whether it be channeling healing energies to an ill part of my body, massaging said part, getting some rest and shut eye, working on the illness on a psychological or emotional level, or whether it be letting or asking the angels to heal it for me, it has mostly worked.
'Intercessory prayer studies accomplish nothing.'
This is a statement that can easily be academically refuted.
Something is always accomplished no matter what we do in life. Even if we accomplish death and destruction.
"Believers" won't change their view if further studies are negative, and nonbelievers won't change theirs if additional studies appear positive.'
Once more, this is a statement that can be called into question.
In fact, people do change their beliefs over the course of a lifetime.
Most, if not all of us, will be on a sliding, changeable spectrum between believer and non-believer.
'Prayer may help some people feel reassured when they are worried, but to me it makes more sense to spend one's time and energy on more constructive health-promoting activities.'
Obviously a personal choice here.
I personally feel that, if prayer and distant healing don't 'work' (the definition of 'work' meaning complete or partial cure of a physical, mental or emotional disease, I assume?) they will confer some benefit to individuals including:
Benefits to the Person doing the Praying / Sending the Healing
-Improved hope, faith, positive thoughts
-Improved feelings of love, creativity, connection
-Increased thoughts about someone, and increased understanding of and feelings of connection to that person:
Praying for someone is a bit like buying them a gift or card, drawing them a picture, sending them a message, liking a status etc - it involves a similar process which is taking the time to think about somebody.
You can do it briefly, or you can go really in depth, depending on how much time and thought you choose to put in.
-Improved health, as love is a healing hormone (oxytocin), taking the time out to pray can be calming and a relief from a busy day, we can obviously pray for ourself and for what we want in life etc.
Benefits to the Person being Prayed for/Healed
-If someone knows they're being prayed for, that can produce, I believe, the most benefit. (Unless they absolutely hate and have a fear of prayer lol!)
Eg. from:
-Placebo effect
-Improved faith and hope
-Feeling loved and cared for
-Feeling relaxed, like some pressure's been taken off
In some ways, this may be a flaw of some studies - if someone doesn't know they're being prayed for, a lot of placebo-related healing may be being taken away.
If placebo works, what's wrong with it? Prayer is quick, often free, carbon neutral etc.
If the person doesn't know they're being prayed for:
Well all that's left here is evidence of recovery! But not just that - see below for knock-on effects:
-Full recovery with no remission
-Full recovery with later remission
-Partial recovery
-Recovery of one illness
-Recovery of all illnesses, etc.
-Improved mental/emotional wellbeing which is less easy to quantify
Knock-On Effects
If someone prays for / sends healing to someone they know, without them knowing, it still may have an actual knock on effect because when the person prays for someone they are actively thinking about them. And when we actively think about someone we are more likely to do something real and tangible for them after the prayer.
Eg. imagine I send healing to Tom and he doesn't know it. I imagine a beautiful visualisation where I send loving energy or a hug or something.
This has an effect on my psyche and subconscious etc. making me more likely to hug Tom in real life. Or to send loving energy in real life, eg. in any form - messages, conversation, gifts, a phone call or visit, etc.
In the case of illness, if I imagine a healing scenario, I might see images of possible assistances for recovery eg. an image of Tom doing more exercise, visiting a doctor, eating more fruit and veg etc. And in real life, after I've finished praying, I might end up relating this info to Tom.
And thus, Tom will receive tangible 'healing' eventually through my resultant actions.
Does this make sense?
---Intercessory Prayer is beginners' prayer in some ways (not all). I see myself as moving through my spiritual healing training, from intercessory prayer, (which most of us have been taught in some way), towards distant healing.
Through learning spiritual healing for 7-9 years, via self study and via observing the angels as they work to heal me and others, I see myself as learning to take the pressure off the angels' / ethereal beings' / whatever you like to call them busy schedules and learn their skills, to become one of them kind of, with similar, shared responsibility, on earth. To also work with them and heal in teams if needed. Which is nice and pleasant to do.
Natalie Windsor
Distant Healing has here been put by the author into the 'Intercessory Prayer' group.
However Distant Healing and Intercessory prayer are not necessarily the same thing.
My definitions, which I hope are correct, are as following:
Intercessory Prayer:
I am asking a divine being to heal somebody. This could be an angel, God, saint, whatever.
This could be further broken down as follows:
Physical Complaints
1a) I ask the being to completely cure someone of everything that is wrong.
1b) I ask the being to completely cure someone of a specific ailment.
1c) I ask the being to send healing where it is needed.
(I might do this if I didn't know if the person was ill or not, but wanted to send positive vibes just in case. I might also do it if someone was really obviously on death's door and I'd feel arrogant asking a being to save someone's life in case it was their time etc. if that makes sense).
1e) I could wish for instantanteous recovery or I could wish for gradual recovery.
1f)I could wish for complete cure or I could wish for an improvement of symptoms.
Emotional/Mental Complaints
The same as above:
2a) I ask the being to heal everything that is wrong or causing difficulty
2b) I ask the being to heal a specific issue.
2c) I ask the being to send healing where it's needed.
2d) I often ask a being to send a loving message or a hug to someone that they will receive in a way that's comfortable for them and in line with their beliefs.
2e) I could wish for instantanteous recovery or I could wish for gradual recovery.
2f)I could wish for complete cure or I could wish for an improvement of symptoms.
Distant Healing
Distant healing to me is the same as above only I'm doing it, rather than the divine or ethereal being. Spiritual healing to me is learning to be a human healing force with similar powers to the divine or ethereal beings.
So it would be the same as above:
3a) I send healing energy with the intention of curing all illness currently present in a person.
3b) I send healing energy with the intention of curing a specific ailment.
3c) I ask the energy to go where it's needed - ask it to show me the way. I don't believe energy is conscious on its own although some do, and maybe it has magnetism ie. it could be drawn to the ill part of someone. But I believe I'm kinda working with ethereal beings when I put out this request.
3d) I imagine myself travelling to someone and giving them a loving message or a hug.
3e) I could wish for instantanteous recovery or I could wish for gradual recovery.
3f)I could wish for complete cure or I could wish for an improvement of symptoms.
And as above it's the same for mental and emotional.
Negative Vibes
'Also, if praying for people worked, would strangers praying against them cause them to become sicker? Or, as one of my religious friends put it, "Is God is so stupid that he or she would respond to
popularity contests?"'
I believe we can be stopped from sending negative vibes. I mean if I was God, I would see that as part of my job somehow although it would be time consuming.
I have heard just two stories of people who wished for death or destruction and it happened. Eg. one guy wished for a helicopter to come down and the next day it did. However this guy committed suicide and they weren't mentally healthy (obviously) at the time and I wasn't there so I can't corroborate that.
However I got really paranoid around this area - when I was first told that negative thoughts travel, I couldn't handle that knowledge and responsibility and went mad.
5 years on, after having been a medium for 5 years and having liver with the knowledge that other beings are only a thought away (basically living in a mental environment where every thought I have can potentially provoke a response from other beings out there) I have learned to deal with this more healthily. I've experimented with and set ground rules, current ones being requesting mental privacy in certain circumstances, only asking for advice from ethereal beings when I need it etc.
Through trusting my natural, human ability to be nice (I believe all humans are nice deep down), I trust my thoughts to be innately nice. Through working through trauma regularly as and when it occurs and through reminding myself of basic niceties, I avoid any 'nasty' moments.
Does It Work?
I don't honestly know. I don't make a log of successes etc. And how can you ever really know on another person if you're not there to witness what else is going on in their life?
On myself I can definitely definitely say that when I've engaged in self healing, whether it be channeling healing energies to an ill part of my body, massaging said part, getting some rest and shut eye, working on the illness on a psychological or emotional level, or whether it be letting or asking the angels to heal it for me, it has mostly worked.
'Intercessory prayer studies accomplish nothing.'
This is a statement that can easily be academically refuted.
Something is always accomplished no matter what we do in life. Even if we accomplish death and destruction.
"Believers" won't change their view if further studies are negative, and nonbelievers won't change theirs if additional studies appear positive.'
Once more, this is a statement that can be called into question.
In fact, people do change their beliefs over the course of a lifetime.
Most, if not all of us, will be on a sliding, changeable spectrum between believer and non-believer.
'Prayer may help some people feel reassured when they are worried, but to me it makes more sense to spend one's time and energy on more constructive health-promoting activities.'
Obviously a personal choice here.
I personally feel that, if prayer and distant healing don't 'work' (the definition of 'work' meaning complete or partial cure of a physical, mental or emotional disease, I assume?) they will confer some benefit to individuals including:
Benefits to the Person doing the Praying / Sending the Healing
-Improved hope, faith, positive thoughts
-Improved feelings of love, creativity, connection
-Increased thoughts about someone, and increased understanding of and feelings of connection to that person:
Praying for someone is a bit like buying them a gift or card, drawing them a picture, sending them a message, liking a status etc - it involves a similar process which is taking the time to think about somebody.
You can do it briefly, or you can go really in depth, depending on how much time and thought you choose to put in.
-Improved health, as love is a healing hormone (oxytocin), taking the time out to pray can be calming and a relief from a busy day, we can obviously pray for ourself and for what we want in life etc.
Benefits to the Person being Prayed for/Healed
-If someone knows they're being prayed for, that can produce, I believe, the most benefit. (Unless they absolutely hate and have a fear of prayer lol!)
Eg. from:
-Placebo effect
-Improved faith and hope
-Feeling loved and cared for
-Feeling relaxed, like some pressure's been taken off
In some ways, this may be a flaw of some studies - if someone doesn't know they're being prayed for, a lot of placebo-related healing may be being taken away.
If placebo works, what's wrong with it? Prayer is quick, often free, carbon neutral etc.
If the person doesn't know they're being prayed for:
Well all that's left here is evidence of recovery! But not just that - see below for knock-on effects:
-Full recovery with no remission
-Full recovery with later remission
-Partial recovery
-Recovery of one illness
-Recovery of all illnesses, etc.
-Improved mental/emotional wellbeing which is less easy to quantify
Knock-On Effects
If someone prays for / sends healing to someone they know, without them knowing, it still may have an actual knock on effect because when the person prays for someone they are actively thinking about them. And when we actively think about someone we are more likely to do something real and tangible for them after the prayer.
Eg. imagine I send healing to Tom and he doesn't know it. I imagine a beautiful visualisation where I send loving energy or a hug or something.
This has an effect on my psyche and subconscious etc. making me more likely to hug Tom in real life. Or to send loving energy in real life, eg. in any form - messages, conversation, gifts, a phone call or visit, etc.
In the case of illness, if I imagine a healing scenario, I might see images of possible assistances for recovery eg. an image of Tom doing more exercise, visiting a doctor, eating more fruit and veg etc. And in real life, after I've finished praying, I might end up relating this info to Tom.
And thus, Tom will receive tangible 'healing' eventually through my resultant actions.
Does this make sense?
---Intercessory Prayer is beginners' prayer in some ways (not all). I see myself as moving through my spiritual healing training, from intercessory prayer, (which most of us have been taught in some way), towards distant healing.
Through learning spiritual healing for 7-9 years, via self study and via observing the angels as they work to heal me and others, I see myself as learning to take the pressure off the angels' / ethereal beings' / whatever you like to call them busy schedules and learn their skills, to become one of them kind of, with similar, shared responsibility, on earth. To also work with them and heal in teams if needed. Which is nice and pleasant to do.
Natalie Windsor
Saturday, 31 March 2012
Save Our Bees!
Please save our bees!
And all our lovely insects - butterflies, flies, wasps, worms...
All are important and play vital roles in creating the food we eat,
In world food prices, in combating world poverty.
Some Ideas...(I try and live by these and I find them to be very successful!)
1. Do Not Kill
2. Create Insect Friendly Habitat
3. Buy Ethically & Boycott
4. Sign Petition
5. Campaign for Change
6. Communicate Locally
1. Do not kill insects except for in real threats of illness, injury or death
to you, or in severe infestations where humane methods don't work.
Alternative Methods:
-Watch the insect. See its beauty. Make friends with it! In the peace and stillness, connect to it with your heart. Observe its reactions - as your feelings soften, does the insect pick up on it?
-Gently blow the insect away with love
-Create a breeze with a piece of paper to gently direct the insect somewhere, eg. out of the door (waft the paper 1 foot away from it - do not ever hit the insect, there's no need and it could damage them).
-Put a glass very carefully over it, minding its legs completely. Once more, wiggle, vibrate or sing gently into the glass to get it to move out of the way without fear as you slide a sheet of card or paper underneath.
-Place the insect in an appropriate habitat. Eg. on a ladybird house or on a stick that leads into one of the ladybird house tubes.
Or on a warm sunny, high up rock.
Or on a warm sunny leaf.
Etc! It might indicate where it wants to go, or intuition or angels may help in these area.
-Get or encourage a balance of insects - a foodchain. Natural pest control eg. ladybirds to eat the aphids, spiders and birds to eat the flies, etc!
2. Make Your Garden Insect Friendly!
Get or build an insect house
log piles
pond
let bits of your garden grow wild - this encourages native insect friendly plants - weeds.
Do your research - some plants are a nuisance, yet keeping a little bit in your garden if you have the time to cut it back, can be a wonderful thing to do.
3. Buy Organic and Ethical. Boycott Insect Harming Products!
Trust that if you invest your energy ethically, (money's one of many forms of energy), it may come back to you (this is the essence of the first lesson of the recession that came through me at the start, through channeling and intuition. I am revising this lesson and I believe it still!).
4. Sign my Petition!
I'll update this blog once I have one up and running.
5. Campaign for Change!
Talk passionately about how you feel to everyone you feel like - family and friends, strangers, etc!
And all our lovely insects - butterflies, flies, wasps, worms...
All are important and play vital roles in creating the food we eat,
In world food prices, in combating world poverty.
Some Ideas...(I try and live by these and I find them to be very successful!)
1. Do Not Kill
2. Create Insect Friendly Habitat
3. Buy Ethically & Boycott
4. Sign Petition
5. Campaign for Change
6. Communicate Locally
1. Do not kill insects except for in real threats of illness, injury or death
to you, or in severe infestations where humane methods don't work.
Alternative Methods:
-Watch the insect. See its beauty. Make friends with it! In the peace and stillness, connect to it with your heart. Observe its reactions - as your feelings soften, does the insect pick up on it?
-Gently blow the insect away with love
-Create a breeze with a piece of paper to gently direct the insect somewhere, eg. out of the door (waft the paper 1 foot away from it - do not ever hit the insect, there's no need and it could damage them).
-Put a glass very carefully over it, minding its legs completely. Once more, wiggle, vibrate or sing gently into the glass to get it to move out of the way without fear as you slide a sheet of card or paper underneath.
-Place the insect in an appropriate habitat. Eg. on a ladybird house or on a stick that leads into one of the ladybird house tubes.
Or on a warm sunny, high up rock.
Or on a warm sunny leaf.
Etc! It might indicate where it wants to go, or intuition or angels may help in these area.
-Get or encourage a balance of insects - a foodchain. Natural pest control eg. ladybirds to eat the aphids, spiders and birds to eat the flies, etc!
2. Make Your Garden Insect Friendly!
Get or build an insect house
log piles
pond
let bits of your garden grow wild - this encourages native insect friendly plants - weeds.
Do your research - some plants are a nuisance, yet keeping a little bit in your garden if you have the time to cut it back, can be a wonderful thing to do.
3. Buy Organic and Ethical. Boycott Insect Harming Products!
Trust that if you invest your energy ethically, (money's one of many forms of energy), it may come back to you (this is the essence of the first lesson of the recession that came through me at the start, through channeling and intuition. I am revising this lesson and I believe it still!).
4. Sign my Petition!
I'll update this blog once I have one up and running.
5. Campaign for Change!
Talk passionately about how you feel to everyone you feel like - family and friends, strangers, etc!
Self Realisation - I Am a Small Stuff Person
Is it possible to say that my innate soul quality is that of being excellent at dealing with small detail?
I believe so, yet I would like to believe that I can be equally great at dealing with the big stuff!
I would like to believe that we all should develop both!
Anyway, whatever the answer is, the small stuff is strong right now in my life!
Diary Entry:
Spiritual Journal 31st March 2012
---Peace - Patience - Time---
Emotional targets - accept Mum snd guides and all into this fold :-)
---Insects and Moss/Lichen---
Why have I created two albums?
Not just a hobby - a specialism.
I specialise, as a soul, in the smallest of detail. 'Peace and tranquility enables me in my lifestyle to slow down and view the smallest particle...' (Guide).
I am a soul who specialises in small detail viewing. Hence my eyesight probs ;-) Close up phone and camera...
I am great, therefore, with:
--Insect Conservation
--Shells
--Rocks
--Plant Identification
--Aura Viewing - the smallest problems of a person are no trouble - they matter in the grand scheme of things!
--Motherhood - I deal with the small stuff. Matt and Jae with the big stuff? I think Davey's a small stuff person. And definitely Kevin and Cathy :-) John Robert's definitely a big stuff person :-) and Dean!
--I deal with the small stuff that matters! The small stuff that just provides the right healing!
--Small People - I specialise in foetuses! I look after the small.
--I am the Protector of the Small!
The bullied. The disadvantaged. Those without a voice!
--Vocal Training - I excel in teaching through physiology here! And technical exercises!
--Singing - I love to work with the fine details of ornamentation! Of perfect text translation! Of shades of pronunciation! Of interpretation!
--Meditation - My recordings have to be perfect :-)
(Aura Viewing - particle viewing should come easily but I'm not drawn to that right now)
I believe so, yet I would like to believe that I can be equally great at dealing with the big stuff!
I would like to believe that we all should develop both!
Anyway, whatever the answer is, the small stuff is strong right now in my life!
Diary Entry:
Spiritual Journal 31st March 2012
---Peace - Patience - Time---
Emotional targets - accept Mum snd guides and all into this fold :-)
---Insects and Moss/Lichen---
Why have I created two albums?
Not just a hobby - a specialism.
I specialise, as a soul, in the smallest of detail. 'Peace and tranquility enables me in my lifestyle to slow down and view the smallest particle...' (Guide).
I am a soul who specialises in small detail viewing. Hence my eyesight probs ;-) Close up phone and camera...
I am great, therefore, with:
--Insect Conservation
--Shells
--Rocks
--Plant Identification
--Aura Viewing - the smallest problems of a person are no trouble - they matter in the grand scheme of things!
--Motherhood - I deal with the small stuff. Matt and Jae with the big stuff? I think Davey's a small stuff person. And definitely Kevin and Cathy :-) John Robert's definitely a big stuff person :-) and Dean!
--I deal with the small stuff that matters! The small stuff that just provides the right healing!
--Small People - I specialise in foetuses! I look after the small.
--I am the Protector of the Small!
The bullied. The disadvantaged. Those without a voice!
--Vocal Training - I excel in teaching through physiology here! And technical exercises!
--Singing - I love to work with the fine details of ornamentation! Of perfect text translation! Of shades of pronunciation! Of interpretation!
--Meditation - My recordings have to be perfect :-)
(Aura Viewing - particle viewing should come easily but I'm not drawn to that right now)
Wednesday, 14 March 2012
My lovely weekend and four days in Derbyshire and Staffordshire Moorlands :-)
Nature Blog
My first....
I am so so glad I saw hawfinches finally! And with the right person - the person I always meant to share them with...to share it all with, in Cromford.
Hawfinches...bramblings...a bullfinch, jays, a siskin, buzzards, goldcrests galore! What an amazing weekend! What an amazing four days :-)
And not just the birds, bien sûr...Oh the company was so splendid... I couldn't have asked for better... Absolutely perfect. Perfectly planned. And I planned it! And J planned a lot too! Teamwork - amazing. Wonderful sharing, togetherness, love and support....
Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My first....
I am so so glad I saw hawfinches finally! And with the right person - the person I always meant to share them with...to share it all with, in Cromford.
Hawfinches...bramblings...a bullfinch, jays, a siskin, buzzards, goldcrests galore! What an amazing weekend! What an amazing four days :-)
And not just the birds, bien sûr...Oh the company was so splendid... I couldn't have asked for better... Absolutely perfect. Perfectly planned. And I planned it! And J planned a lot too! Teamwork - amazing. Wonderful sharing, togetherness, love and support....
Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Self Expression
This is becoming a more and more difficult issue for me right now.
As I sit in front of the computer screen, the day before a job interview of sorts, thoughts circle around in my head... who is reading this? What do they think when I read it? If people google this, will it affect my chances of getting the job?
It's just so awful. We should be able to say what we want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
Of course, there's hurting and there's mildly upsetting etc. and we can't keep everything inside. We have to talk about stuff. And I have no one to talk to. Absolutely bloody no one.
Not properly. There's no one that I can feel I can say everything to. Without guilt. Or being interrupted. The interrupting thing has got better. I need to acknowledge that. In fact now I understand something related to that. That makes sense.
I did ask to have a counsellor in my life, someone I can talk to forever. But it hasn't..quite worked. Almost. Maybe I need to remember how to talk. To interrupt people. I don't know.
Writing is just easier but so many people seem to freak out when I put my personal stuff in the public sphere. I feel it's important though. I hate secrecy! I always have! Ok, we mustn't say nasty things to people. Although if they've hurt us, we should discuss it nicely.
But I don't know.
If I don't keep writing and writing and writing although I feel like a nutter, all these thoughts are just going round in my head with absolutely no one to listen except the spirit guides who, even they stress me out by judging and offering advice. I don't want advice sometimes, I just want someone to listen.
But then I am so used to being judged and criticised that when it stops happening I barely notice, or I don't know how to react to it. I have an automatic guilt timer switch that comes on after I've said just a few sentences because that's usually when most people interrupt me. Or even just after a few words.
Maybe what I have to say just isn't interesting. Maybe no body really truly cares. Now I am overanalysing I know it. But I still feel sad. John Robert always used to say 'You want the bloody moon on a stick, woman!' I used to thwack him for that ;-) But maybe that's what women do. They want things. They want to change things. On a small behavioural level because traditionally women have always done that through behaviourally training the children. It's natural for them to extend this to partners because that protects her, and if she has a child, the child too. Creates harmony and a perfect society on a truly microcosmic level. (macro? I get mixed up)
I have such low confidence. I am trying to overcome it, gloss over it, ignore it by keeping busy, by telling myself that the more I focus on my negative emotions the more they'll magnify... But I do have low confidence and I desperately, desperately need approval, praise, compliments and encouragement.
There it's said. I think that's actually the root of my sad feeling right there. In my tummy. And heart and tiny tears.
As I sit in front of the computer screen, the day before a job interview of sorts, thoughts circle around in my head... who is reading this? What do they think when I read it? If people google this, will it affect my chances of getting the job?
It's just so awful. We should be able to say what we want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
Of course, there's hurting and there's mildly upsetting etc. and we can't keep everything inside. We have to talk about stuff. And I have no one to talk to. Absolutely bloody no one.
Not properly. There's no one that I can feel I can say everything to. Without guilt. Or being interrupted. The interrupting thing has got better. I need to acknowledge that. In fact now I understand something related to that. That makes sense.
I did ask to have a counsellor in my life, someone I can talk to forever. But it hasn't..quite worked. Almost. Maybe I need to remember how to talk. To interrupt people. I don't know.
Writing is just easier but so many people seem to freak out when I put my personal stuff in the public sphere. I feel it's important though. I hate secrecy! I always have! Ok, we mustn't say nasty things to people. Although if they've hurt us, we should discuss it nicely.
But I don't know.
If I don't keep writing and writing and writing although I feel like a nutter, all these thoughts are just going round in my head with absolutely no one to listen except the spirit guides who, even they stress me out by judging and offering advice. I don't want advice sometimes, I just want someone to listen.
But then I am so used to being judged and criticised that when it stops happening I barely notice, or I don't know how to react to it. I have an automatic guilt timer switch that comes on after I've said just a few sentences because that's usually when most people interrupt me. Or even just after a few words.
Maybe what I have to say just isn't interesting. Maybe no body really truly cares. Now I am overanalysing I know it. But I still feel sad. John Robert always used to say 'You want the bloody moon on a stick, woman!' I used to thwack him for that ;-) But maybe that's what women do. They want things. They want to change things. On a small behavioural level because traditionally women have always done that through behaviourally training the children. It's natural for them to extend this to partners because that protects her, and if she has a child, the child too. Creates harmony and a perfect society on a truly microcosmic level. (macro? I get mixed up)
I have such low confidence. I am trying to overcome it, gloss over it, ignore it by keeping busy, by telling myself that the more I focus on my negative emotions the more they'll magnify... But I do have low confidence and I desperately, desperately need approval, praise, compliments and encouragement.
There it's said. I think that's actually the root of my sad feeling right there. In my tummy. And heart and tiny tears.
Initial Draft of Blog Introduction - 8th March 2012
I seem to be out of my depressed phase now! Of course, more ups and downs will come. I guess some are inevitable in life but of course it's how we handle them, and keep ourselves balanced etc that counts.
But for the meantime, let's start an exciting new project!
Well, really, I started about a month ago and here are some of the published results!
I'm very very excited about it all. I'll tell you a story about how it began.
Well, actually, where to begin? If I start with my conception we'll be here a long time!
I could even start from the Big Bang but I'm not up to scratch on all that stuff.
So for now, I'll put the other week.
I was walking on a lovely outing to Rainham Marshes RSPB reserve with my lovely partner.
Backtracking a little, Imbolc this year has brought some unexpected new beginnings! And very exciting ones. I expected 2012 to be a career year for me, but not one for a new relationship, but I'm really glad and I feel like I'm finally opening up to the real me through all this.
I seem to have been on an everlasting quest now to find the real me, or in many ways, to rediscover the real me.
After seven to nine years of training to be a spiritual healer and never quite getting there even now to do it full time for a full professional wage, as I had envisioned (it's mainly working for free until I get insured and/or people come through with orders), all of a sudden, sitting in Rainham Marshes' bird hide looking through my own, borrowed pair of binoculars for one of the first occasions in many years (perhaps ten or more), I cried.
I had a visitation that set this off. I've had problems with my eyes on and off that I tend to ignore and this winter, the amount of time spent indoors staring at an iPhone screen had taken its toll. As I've been retraining my muscles gradually through looking through binoculars, looking at the sky, focusing on birds far away, and training my rods and cones to increase their sensitivity to colour at that distance and light exposure, I had a gentle, loving, angelic visitation to my right.
The angel appeared in the form of my best and dear friend Phil, and also my lovely Dad. It was a combination of energies mixed into one person. (It's very clever how they do this!) Maybe I could thank Karl Jung for the stimulus for this idea too.
The being said 'Natty.' 'You can do it!'
It made me cry so much, quietly! Inside.
I realised I'd been feeling a pressure in my brow and eye chakras that wasn't just about eyesight. As the muscles released a long period of tension and the voice said 'You can do it Natty!' just like Phil or Dad would (as Dad used to say when I fell behind, as I always did, in hillwalking, I cried and realised how low in ability I'd been feeling.
At that moment, I realised that I'd never before considered conservation as a career perhaps owing to confidence issues. Pure and simple. Reflecting further, I have confidence issues here there and everywhere and I have been working on these for a good six months and more.
The beautiful experience planting trees together the previous day had also changed me, permanently, I feel.
I go through so many phases of learning, like a child learns (which is a good way of learning), and I always feel hanging over my head that awful death sentence put upon Geminis: the label of a jack of all trades. Some astrologers believe that all Geminis or people with a strong Geminian/Mercurial (and thus Virgo?) influence have a tendency to be a jack of all trades. But I think there's nothing wrong with being one as long as you harness its full creative potential - wholism. All knowing, all seeing, all understanding. And incredible management skills on the mental level. I think people shouldn't be negative about it.
Yet I am currently dealing with conflict in this area of my life. I have to, on a termly or half termly basis, review my goals and priorities and scarily, each time I do I find that the goalposts have moved, again. I do need to focus, focus, focus to a degree. Reassess my original purpose, how far I have come towards achieving it and ask myself without being afriad, is it still what I want? I will probably find that it is. I normally do.
But this one's here to stay.
The real work is saving the planet.
I'm now feeding our garden birds and my purpose is to invite new and old bird friends back into the garden. To do this, I am now regularly cleaning the garden, providing a balanced meal for the birdies (see my research into nutrition came in useful!), researching into specific foods and environments that attract certain neglected species, and working on observation and identification, recording what I've found.
I couldn't have done this without you John.
It's so hard for me to be myself when there's no one around to be an inspiration. A role model. A supporting caring like-minded person. So thank you <3
Even last year, last winter, spring and summer, you were such an inspiration to me with your photos, posts, and lovely chats! And also the cool insect dude Malcolm whom I met over the internet who helped me with moth and stick insect identification (it turned out none were stick insects ;-) ).
So here I am. Conserving. Could I call myself a conservationist? I would love to. I almost cry at the thought of it. A long buried dream I thought I could never achieve. I always dreamed of being a vet or rescuing animals and birds.... Not nasty medication stuff or surgery :-P although maybe I could handle that now I'm older and wiser!
I suppose I also need to thank my ex. Although he tried to stop me from doing meditation and spiritual healing, often belittled me for spending too much time caring for insects, cooked me meat, cheese, desserts and eggs when he knew I didn't agree with eating them and was too vulnerable and ill to make my own meals, at least he and his family taught me about plants and foraging. A lot. And they have a lovely bird feeding situation.
So, successes in my first month or two!
1. Attracted goldfinches back to the garden. Up to 7 of them.
2. Attracted greenfinches back to the garden. 2 to 3 of them.
3. Deeply cleaned everything!
4. Found out about which foods certain birds like.
5. Increased and revised my knowledge of many species.
6. Learned some things about laying a hedge and protecting saplings!
7. Discovered a cool new website to record sightings - iSpot.
8. Discovered how amazing the Thames estuary is for waders and more besides! I would never have known.
9. Rejoined the RSPB and rejoined my daughter to the RSPB. She now proudly says 'I am the bird protector!'
10. Opened up a new pattern within mine and my daughter's lives (and others who are of course influenced), of non-materialism. Which is so, so welcome. I've been wanting to move away from materialism and overspending for so long and finally, it is possible.
11. Healed confidence issues surrounding my abilities in these areas and begun to consider how I could develop wildlife and nature work as a career path.
12. Channeled mostly, 'Redeveloped wonderful links with the angels and devas who assist humans, animals, insects and birds in working together in harmony, and healing each other. Together we connected and we worked to bring wildlife back into Narnie's garden. Our garden. The garden of life.'
13. I have been learning how to keep a log of wildlife sightings! And I've really been enjoying making my own special system!
But for the meantime, let's start an exciting new project!
Well, really, I started about a month ago and here are some of the published results!
I'm very very excited about it all. I'll tell you a story about how it began.
Well, actually, where to begin? If I start with my conception we'll be here a long time!
I could even start from the Big Bang but I'm not up to scratch on all that stuff.
So for now, I'll put the other week.
I was walking on a lovely outing to Rainham Marshes RSPB reserve with my lovely partner.
Backtracking a little, Imbolc this year has brought some unexpected new beginnings! And very exciting ones. I expected 2012 to be a career year for me, but not one for a new relationship, but I'm really glad and I feel like I'm finally opening up to the real me through all this.
I seem to have been on an everlasting quest now to find the real me, or in many ways, to rediscover the real me.
After seven to nine years of training to be a spiritual healer and never quite getting there even now to do it full time for a full professional wage, as I had envisioned (it's mainly working for free until I get insured and/or people come through with orders), all of a sudden, sitting in Rainham Marshes' bird hide looking through my own, borrowed pair of binoculars for one of the first occasions in many years (perhaps ten or more), I cried.
I had a visitation that set this off. I've had problems with my eyes on and off that I tend to ignore and this winter, the amount of time spent indoors staring at an iPhone screen had taken its toll. As I've been retraining my muscles gradually through looking through binoculars, looking at the sky, focusing on birds far away, and training my rods and cones to increase their sensitivity to colour at that distance and light exposure, I had a gentle, loving, angelic visitation to my right.
The angel appeared in the form of my best and dear friend Phil, and also my lovely Dad. It was a combination of energies mixed into one person. (It's very clever how they do this!) Maybe I could thank Karl Jung for the stimulus for this idea too.
The being said 'Natty.' 'You can do it!'
It made me cry so much, quietly! Inside.
I realised I'd been feeling a pressure in my brow and eye chakras that wasn't just about eyesight. As the muscles released a long period of tension and the voice said 'You can do it Natty!' just like Phil or Dad would (as Dad used to say when I fell behind, as I always did, in hillwalking, I cried and realised how low in ability I'd been feeling.
At that moment, I realised that I'd never before considered conservation as a career perhaps owing to confidence issues. Pure and simple. Reflecting further, I have confidence issues here there and everywhere and I have been working on these for a good six months and more.
The beautiful experience planting trees together the previous day had also changed me, permanently, I feel.
I go through so many phases of learning, like a child learns (which is a good way of learning), and I always feel hanging over my head that awful death sentence put upon Geminis: the label of a jack of all trades. Some astrologers believe that all Geminis or people with a strong Geminian/Mercurial (and thus Virgo?) influence have a tendency to be a jack of all trades. But I think there's nothing wrong with being one as long as you harness its full creative potential - wholism. All knowing, all seeing, all understanding. And incredible management skills on the mental level. I think people shouldn't be negative about it.
Yet I am currently dealing with conflict in this area of my life. I have to, on a termly or half termly basis, review my goals and priorities and scarily, each time I do I find that the goalposts have moved, again. I do need to focus, focus, focus to a degree. Reassess my original purpose, how far I have come towards achieving it and ask myself without being afriad, is it still what I want? I will probably find that it is. I normally do.
But this one's here to stay.
The real work is saving the planet.
I'm now feeding our garden birds and my purpose is to invite new and old bird friends back into the garden. To do this, I am now regularly cleaning the garden, providing a balanced meal for the birdies (see my research into nutrition came in useful!), researching into specific foods and environments that attract certain neglected species, and working on observation and identification, recording what I've found.
I couldn't have done this without you John.
It's so hard for me to be myself when there's no one around to be an inspiration. A role model. A supporting caring like-minded person. So thank you <3
Even last year, last winter, spring and summer, you were such an inspiration to me with your photos, posts, and lovely chats! And also the cool insect dude Malcolm whom I met over the internet who helped me with moth and stick insect identification (it turned out none were stick insects ;-) ).
So here I am. Conserving. Could I call myself a conservationist? I would love to. I almost cry at the thought of it. A long buried dream I thought I could never achieve. I always dreamed of being a vet or rescuing animals and birds.... Not nasty medication stuff or surgery :-P although maybe I could handle that now I'm older and wiser!
I suppose I also need to thank my ex. Although he tried to stop me from doing meditation and spiritual healing, often belittled me for spending too much time caring for insects, cooked me meat, cheese, desserts and eggs when he knew I didn't agree with eating them and was too vulnerable and ill to make my own meals, at least he and his family taught me about plants and foraging. A lot. And they have a lovely bird feeding situation.
So, successes in my first month or two!
1. Attracted goldfinches back to the garden. Up to 7 of them.
2. Attracted greenfinches back to the garden. 2 to 3 of them.
3. Deeply cleaned everything!
4. Found out about which foods certain birds like.
5. Increased and revised my knowledge of many species.
6. Learned some things about laying a hedge and protecting saplings!
7. Discovered a cool new website to record sightings - iSpot.
8. Discovered how amazing the Thames estuary is for waders and more besides! I would never have known.
9. Rejoined the RSPB and rejoined my daughter to the RSPB. She now proudly says 'I am the bird protector!'
10. Opened up a new pattern within mine and my daughter's lives (and others who are of course influenced), of non-materialism. Which is so, so welcome. I've been wanting to move away from materialism and overspending for so long and finally, it is possible.
11. Healed confidence issues surrounding my abilities in these areas and begun to consider how I could develop wildlife and nature work as a career path.
12. Channeled mostly, 'Redeveloped wonderful links with the angels and devas who assist humans, animals, insects and birds in working together in harmony, and healing each other. Together we connected and we worked to bring wildlife back into Narnie's garden. Our garden. The garden of life.'
13. I have been learning how to keep a log of wildlife sightings! And I've really been enjoying making my own special system!
Bird Journal - 8th March 2012
Bird Journal
12:00 -
Coal Tit? Wasn't impressed with the food on offer! Tried peanut feeder, then wild seed feeder, didn't try nyjer feeder or fat balls and didn't try bird table, maybe because blackbird was on there.
Blackbird, male
He was happily feeding from the bird table. What a clever birdy!
I heard the call of another bird but didn't know what it was. Re do re do re do pause, quite fast
A quick scroll down my iSpiny reveals that I often hear bluetits in hedges and trees; great tits are probably the birds I hear echoing across the valley/distance at the top of trees, I think (minor, sometimes major third), I may be mistaking robins for willow warblers and even dunnocks as the calls are quite similar. That new call I heard lately that I thought might be a new robin call, sounds like a dunnock, and another sounds like a willow warbler. But will see. The call of the white throat also sounds familiar yet I don't recall ever seeing one!
Wren and coal tit also sound familiar, particularly coal tit.
It's hard to say. Overload now.
Definite characteristics:
Tiny garden or garden-sized birds sound like robins or tits: high pitched, warbling, tuneful. Nicest for humans who like to choose favourite species at time based on aesthetic merit ...
In a non sceptical way, a nice companion for a lone human on a lonely day, in a garden, wood or meadow. Are such birds concentrated more near human or animal company?
Finches are a bit different with maybe double tones/harmonics. Something about forests and large bills for nuts maybe.
Jays and corvids are lower. Purpose - scaring away. Managing folds. A bit like sheepdogs or dogs barking.
Birds of prey and sea birds are distinctive high screeches without a warble. The function - carrying over a distance. Or result of travelling long distance open desolate spaces without music or verbal stimulation from humans. Or vice versa. Did birds teach us or did we teach them, or bit of both? Does bird song evolve?
That'll do for now...
12:25 No new birds! All quiet! Maybe I should put the mealworms out.
12:37 No new birds yet! Three or more singing in bushes and trees somewhere.
A bird sang with semitones: Ror do ror do ror do...
I put out mealworms and to my sheer delight, the safflower seeds I put out yesterday are already snaffled up! They are not on the lawn which means they are just as popular, in the back garden, as the mealworms!
They are all over the front lawn however. Maybe the birds haven't discovered that table yet, it's too close to the road or not clean enough for them (it needs a new tray really, I scrubbed the wood but it still looks skanky, and I haven't scrubbed it for 2 weeks).
I put a third fat ball in the black rectangular grate feeder thingy. To see if smaller birds with tinier feet will go for it. Wish me luck!
Peanuts still unpopular, will clean feeder and restock before weekend. Not sure what with just yet.
Will Google 'mixed nuts for birds' and see if it looks safe.
12:00 -
Coal Tit? Wasn't impressed with the food on offer! Tried peanut feeder, then wild seed feeder, didn't try nyjer feeder or fat balls and didn't try bird table, maybe because blackbird was on there.
Blackbird, male
He was happily feeding from the bird table. What a clever birdy!
I heard the call of another bird but didn't know what it was. Re do re do re do pause, quite fast
A quick scroll down my iSpiny reveals that I often hear bluetits in hedges and trees; great tits are probably the birds I hear echoing across the valley/distance at the top of trees, I think (minor, sometimes major third), I may be mistaking robins for willow warblers and even dunnocks as the calls are quite similar. That new call I heard lately that I thought might be a new robin call, sounds like a dunnock, and another sounds like a willow warbler. But will see. The call of the white throat also sounds familiar yet I don't recall ever seeing one!
Wren and coal tit also sound familiar, particularly coal tit.
It's hard to say. Overload now.
Definite characteristics:
Tiny garden or garden-sized birds sound like robins or tits: high pitched, warbling, tuneful. Nicest for humans who like to choose favourite species at time based on aesthetic merit ...
In a non sceptical way, a nice companion for a lone human on a lonely day, in a garden, wood or meadow. Are such birds concentrated more near human or animal company?
Finches are a bit different with maybe double tones/harmonics. Something about forests and large bills for nuts maybe.
Jays and corvids are lower. Purpose - scaring away. Managing folds. A bit like sheepdogs or dogs barking.
Birds of prey and sea birds are distinctive high screeches without a warble. The function - carrying over a distance. Or result of travelling long distance open desolate spaces without music or verbal stimulation from humans. Or vice versa. Did birds teach us or did we teach them, or bit of both? Does bird song evolve?
That'll do for now...
12:25 No new birds! All quiet! Maybe I should put the mealworms out.
12:37 No new birds yet! Three or more singing in bushes and trees somewhere.
A bird sang with semitones: Ror do ror do ror do...
I put out mealworms and to my sheer delight, the safflower seeds I put out yesterday are already snaffled up! They are not on the lawn which means they are just as popular, in the back garden, as the mealworms!
They are all over the front lawn however. Maybe the birds haven't discovered that table yet, it's too close to the road or not clean enough for them (it needs a new tray really, I scrubbed the wood but it still looks skanky, and I haven't scrubbed it for 2 weeks).
I put a third fat ball in the black rectangular grate feeder thingy. To see if smaller birds with tinier feet will go for it. Wish me luck!
Peanuts still unpopular, will clean feeder and restock before weekend. Not sure what with just yet.
Will Google 'mixed nuts for birds' and see if it looks safe.
Bird Log - 7th March 2012
Bird Log 7th March 2012
10:10 Starling - Fatball
Dunnock - Ground
10:18
Dunnock back again.
3 goldfinches landed and flew away
I cleaned the bird things for half an hour then...
11:00
2 greenfinches and 1 possible young greenfinch and a female chaffinch appeared!!!
2 male and female adult greenfinches were on the nyjer feeder, 1 young greenfinch was on the seed feeder (finally one of the birds is blinkin' using it!!) and the chaffinch was on the bird table. I think they did swap a bit, and before I restocked, I'd noticed that the safflower seeds had all gone! In fact, all the bird seed had gone! Husks were in their place so they are definitely picking up the seeds ok and dehusking them, the husks neatly stuck in the tiny holes of the feeding table's mesh.
(The RSPB or other source recommended a feeder in case the birds choked, although this may have been more for peanuts, but I wasn't sure and had no more feeders left, wasn't sure what shape to use etc and the birds only really seem to use the nyjer feeder so far, they haven't really got used to the others or something.)
The fat balls are popular again since I had a few days break of putting mealworms out, (due to fine weather and being busy).
Now I've put out the mealworms, will those lazy starlings abandon the fatballs and guzzle the mealworms?
I'm still debating whether to put two more fatballs in the large rectangular mesh feeder, which supposedly is better for the birds' feet. I haven't noticed any birds getting their feet stuck in the traditional fat ball mesh yet, however only the starlings really use it. I am worried the food would go to waste and the birds wouldn't come, but maybe I could try it.
The peanuts definitely are not to the birds' tastes, so I'll throw those out I guess. Not sure what to replace them with as can't afford any more bird food for a good month, mind you peanuts aren't that expensive from the market, but I still want to buy an organic nut mix for them. It sounds crazy maybe and I've never heard of it before, but I worry about toxins for the little birdies.
I personally can't stand the taste of peanuts. They're so vile and bitter... Sometimes I can cope with them! Eg. I barely notice in chocolates, so perhaps it depends on the source and cooking method. But my feeling is that because of the overpopularity of the nuts, like wheat they've been severely overfarmed, in incredibly unethical ways, eg. too fast, too cheap, even inhumane or slave labour, with toxic chemicals to unnaturally speed up production.
And that's why they taste bitter and the energy/angel and my own inner angel interpreting around them is telling me:
'Don't go there. Get some nice hazelnuts, fairtrade brazil nuts, shelled macadamias... the things you like the taste of and would happily eat yourself (wholefood wise) the birds will too'.
I am so glad to have seen the greenfinches today! Ha! Mum only said to me yesterday 'Are you SURE they weren't female chaffinches? I'VE never seen any greenfinches in the garden. Greenfinches are almost bright yellow!' Well ha, yes they were. Back again and feeding happily, even though I was there with my bucket and scrubbing brush, almost as a gift from God and the angels, or from their own greenfinch inner angels. I could havd cried perhaps but not feeling emotional today, too busy to be emotional. Which is itself an unusual feeling - I had forgotten what being this busy felt like.
Oo the dunnock is back. It's 11:18. He or she is hopping around. Very cautious, looking around for Santa the cat I assume! He doesn't seem fussy about what he eats as such. I want him to hop onto the table which he's learned to do lately. Which is brilliant, because I'm not allowed to scatter seeds on the ground in case of mice and rats, so I'm relying on the ground feeders' ingenuity in hopping onto the bird table, and the finches' and starlings' clumsiness in scattering spare seeds onto the ground... and the occasional slip of my hand. Or Lizzy's.
He flew away, then came back and brought his friend the blackbird.
It is a quiet garden I think.
We seem to have 2 near resident chaffinches, 1 or 2 dunnocks, a family of wrens have apparently moved in, (martins come and nest in summer), 2 blackbirds, 1-2 bluetits, 1-2 great tits, 2-6 starlings, 2-3 greenfinches as newcomers, 6-7 goldfinches as newcomers, the occasional pigeon family member and rare squirrel. I think this is quiet. There are apparently few trees up here and that's why. Perhaps the female birds are also nesting today.
10:10 Starling - Fatball
Dunnock - Ground
10:18
Dunnock back again.
3 goldfinches landed and flew away
I cleaned the bird things for half an hour then...
11:00
2 greenfinches and 1 possible young greenfinch and a female chaffinch appeared!!!
2 male and female adult greenfinches were on the nyjer feeder, 1 young greenfinch was on the seed feeder (finally one of the birds is blinkin' using it!!) and the chaffinch was on the bird table. I think they did swap a bit, and before I restocked, I'd noticed that the safflower seeds had all gone! In fact, all the bird seed had gone! Husks were in their place so they are definitely picking up the seeds ok and dehusking them, the husks neatly stuck in the tiny holes of the feeding table's mesh.
(The RSPB or other source recommended a feeder in case the birds choked, although this may have been more for peanuts, but I wasn't sure and had no more feeders left, wasn't sure what shape to use etc and the birds only really seem to use the nyjer feeder so far, they haven't really got used to the others or something.)
The fat balls are popular again since I had a few days break of putting mealworms out, (due to fine weather and being busy).
Now I've put out the mealworms, will those lazy starlings abandon the fatballs and guzzle the mealworms?
I'm still debating whether to put two more fatballs in the large rectangular mesh feeder, which supposedly is better for the birds' feet. I haven't noticed any birds getting their feet stuck in the traditional fat ball mesh yet, however only the starlings really use it. I am worried the food would go to waste and the birds wouldn't come, but maybe I could try it.
The peanuts definitely are not to the birds' tastes, so I'll throw those out I guess. Not sure what to replace them with as can't afford any more bird food for a good month, mind you peanuts aren't that expensive from the market, but I still want to buy an organic nut mix for them. It sounds crazy maybe and I've never heard of it before, but I worry about toxins for the little birdies.
I personally can't stand the taste of peanuts. They're so vile and bitter... Sometimes I can cope with them! Eg. I barely notice in chocolates, so perhaps it depends on the source and cooking method. But my feeling is that because of the overpopularity of the nuts, like wheat they've been severely overfarmed, in incredibly unethical ways, eg. too fast, too cheap, even inhumane or slave labour, with toxic chemicals to unnaturally speed up production.
And that's why they taste bitter and the energy/angel and my own inner angel interpreting around them is telling me:
'Don't go there. Get some nice hazelnuts, fairtrade brazil nuts, shelled macadamias... the things you like the taste of and would happily eat yourself (wholefood wise) the birds will too'.
I am so glad to have seen the greenfinches today! Ha! Mum only said to me yesterday 'Are you SURE they weren't female chaffinches? I'VE never seen any greenfinches in the garden. Greenfinches are almost bright yellow!' Well ha, yes they were. Back again and feeding happily, even though I was there with my bucket and scrubbing brush, almost as a gift from God and the angels, or from their own greenfinch inner angels. I could havd cried perhaps but not feeling emotional today, too busy to be emotional. Which is itself an unusual feeling - I had forgotten what being this busy felt like.
Oo the dunnock is back. It's 11:18. He or she is hopping around. Very cautious, looking around for Santa the cat I assume! He doesn't seem fussy about what he eats as such. I want him to hop onto the table which he's learned to do lately. Which is brilliant, because I'm not allowed to scatter seeds on the ground in case of mice and rats, so I'm relying on the ground feeders' ingenuity in hopping onto the bird table, and the finches' and starlings' clumsiness in scattering spare seeds onto the ground... and the occasional slip of my hand. Or Lizzy's.
He flew away, then came back and brought his friend the blackbird.
It is a quiet garden I think.
We seem to have 2 near resident chaffinches, 1 or 2 dunnocks, a family of wrens have apparently moved in, (martins come and nest in summer), 2 blackbirds, 1-2 bluetits, 1-2 great tits, 2-6 starlings, 2-3 greenfinches as newcomers, 6-7 goldfinches as newcomers, the occasional pigeon family member and rare squirrel. I think this is quiet. There are apparently few trees up here and that's why. Perhaps the female birds are also nesting today.
Bird Log - Garden - 29th February 2012
Bird Log 29th February 2012
Garden Biddulph Moor
10:15-10:25
Starling - 1 on newest fatball. He perched on the ring just below it so new position may be helpful.
Goldfinches - 2 on nyger feeder
(2 more in hedge?)
Flew away when Mum arrived
Tit - On new seed feeder, quickly. Possibly twice. Too quick for ident.
Dunnock - Flew to top of tree then down to ground below feeding station to peck for a bit
Blackbird - On next door's roof
Robin - Audible, on next door's roof
Crows - 2 flew overhead
Chaffinch - 1 male on seed tray/dish
Unknown Tit -
Blue Tit or
Great Tit
Black stripe through the eye
Pale (grey) patch at back of head
Flattened head like blue tit and tiny beak
Narrow black stripe down belly (not as thick as on adult great tit)
Blue and yellow markings
No white bits on wings or tail
Appeared to be small
Starling Came back later to fatball again
Chaffinches came back later twice
Blackbird came back later
Dunnock came back later
Garden Biddulph Moor
10:15-10:25
Starling - 1 on newest fatball. He perched on the ring just below it so new position may be helpful.
Goldfinches - 2 on nyger feeder
(2 more in hedge?)
Flew away when Mum arrived
Tit - On new seed feeder, quickly. Possibly twice. Too quick for ident.
Dunnock - Flew to top of tree then down to ground below feeding station to peck for a bit
Blackbird - On next door's roof
Robin - Audible, on next door's roof
Crows - 2 flew overhead
Chaffinch - 1 male on seed tray/dish
Unknown Tit -
Blue Tit or
Great Tit
Black stripe through the eye
Pale (grey) patch at back of head
Flattened head like blue tit and tiny beak
Narrow black stripe down belly (not as thick as on adult great tit)
Blue and yellow markings
No white bits on wings or tail
Appeared to be small
Starling Came back later to fatball again
Chaffinches came back later twice
Blackbird came back later
Dunnock came back later
Poem from Rainham - 22nd February 2012
This poem was written on the day when my partner and I visited Rainham Marshes RSPB Reserve.
It was a fantastic day. Longer than I'd been out in a while and nice to increase my stamina to what it used to be! Although in a different way this time, because it's quite a stationary thing, bird watching. Not that I'm unaccustomed to stationary - my last 4 years of life have been stationary what with having tiny Beth to look after! She doesn't walk quickly and likes to stop and observe everything she sees - a born birdwatcher and conservationist I hear you say ;-)
This day marks a pivotal point in my life. A turning point I will always remember. All my life.
The real change began the day before actually, when John kindly invited me into his fold of happy conservationists at Roding Valley Nature Reserve. I felt truly honoured to be invited to plant trees with them, the purpose being to lay a hedge. This was something I had never done before and I felt so touched to be part of it all. I have dreamed of planting trees with other people for about 10 years and have sadly never had the chance to do it. I didn't know anyone else who was into it. It's all about community.
To digress, as I do, community is the main theme for my life this past 6 months and even before. The past year and a half, since November 2010. Finding a community of like minded individuals. But as I am finding, we have to know who we are first, so that we know who to look for!!! This has taken me a silly amount of time to learn but never mind, I'm nearly there! One day I will go to Greece I hope. Or anywhere. A conservation holiday, trip, experience - something. To really connect.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Rainham Poem
To feel the air through my lungs...
To hear the rush of the deep wind,
The cry and twitter of the birds...
To see the most beautiful new creatures...
To be in the most wonderful company!
It was lovely...
I cried as I remembered the past... a visitation of two people, energies long gone, that are since revived thanks to the connection from above! Great spiritual healer visited me in a remote bird hide and helped me to remember...'Natty....Natty...You can do it!' Just those words made me cry! Straight to my brow chakra and self worth, confidence issues regarding birding...It almost was as if, and they (the guiding angels) say it did - the muscle usage of looking afar for so long, through the binoculars at birds, the skies, far off into the distant skies and waters for a ling period of time, opened up a muscle memory, an emotional memory, a vision...
Phil and Daddy - 'Natty!'
'You can do it!'
Phil, Andrew, Dad are wondering where I am...
It was a fantastic day. Longer than I'd been out in a while and nice to increase my stamina to what it used to be! Although in a different way this time, because it's quite a stationary thing, bird watching. Not that I'm unaccustomed to stationary - my last 4 years of life have been stationary what with having tiny Beth to look after! She doesn't walk quickly and likes to stop and observe everything she sees - a born birdwatcher and conservationist I hear you say ;-)
This day marks a pivotal point in my life. A turning point I will always remember. All my life.
The real change began the day before actually, when John kindly invited me into his fold of happy conservationists at Roding Valley Nature Reserve. I felt truly honoured to be invited to plant trees with them, the purpose being to lay a hedge. This was something I had never done before and I felt so touched to be part of it all. I have dreamed of planting trees with other people for about 10 years and have sadly never had the chance to do it. I didn't know anyone else who was into it. It's all about community.
To digress, as I do, community is the main theme for my life this past 6 months and even before. The past year and a half, since November 2010. Finding a community of like minded individuals. But as I am finding, we have to know who we are first, so that we know who to look for!!! This has taken me a silly amount of time to learn but never mind, I'm nearly there! One day I will go to Greece I hope. Or anywhere. A conservation holiday, trip, experience - something. To really connect.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Rainham Poem
To feel the air through my lungs...
To hear the rush of the deep wind,
The cry and twitter of the birds...
To see the most beautiful new creatures...
To be in the most wonderful company!
It was lovely...
I cried as I remembered the past... a visitation of two people, energies long gone, that are since revived thanks to the connection from above! Great spiritual healer visited me in a remote bird hide and helped me to remember...'Natty....Natty...You can do it!' Just those words made me cry! Straight to my brow chakra and self worth, confidence issues regarding birding...It almost was as if, and they (the guiding angels) say it did - the muscle usage of looking afar for so long, through the binoculars at birds, the skies, far off into the distant skies and waters for a ling period of time, opened up a muscle memory, an emotional memory, a vision...
Phil and Daddy - 'Natty!'
'You can do it!'
Phil, Andrew, Dad are wondering where I am...
New!!! Natty's Bird, Wildlife, and Nature Blog! (And probably other stuff too!)
I am proud and pleased to announce that, thanks to the fabulous support, inspiration, teaching and help from my gorgeous boyfriend, I now feel very confident in getting back into nature but this time, with a difference!
This time, it's personal.
Joke ;-) I am now doing stuff like.....writing a bird log - a proper well-organised log of sighting dates and times, numbers, attempted identification of species, gender, age, etc. and recording exactly what they've been eating and how.
This isn't anal - it's helping me to learn exactly how much food and what kind of food to give them so that no money or food is wasted. I have very little money and even when I do, I hate waste - ecology etc!
Conservation as a career? Moi? Well I certainly got into it back when we were living in Geoffrey Road, Sparkhill. That was a thoroughly crap and depressing time of my life family-wise filled with arguments, and horrible things but... I am currently remembering the GOOD stuff. How I learned to connect with insects and heal my fear and past life connections with them, learning to conserve them etc. How I found the therapeutic effect of gardening - touching and working the earth with my bare hands. Really connecting on a deep level when necessary.
I never realised you could get paid for this stuff! I thought it was all voluntary somehow.
I've always enjoyed gardening with my Grandma, rescuing wildlife if I found it, (although sadly little opportunity there - I always wanted to do much more so I used to fantasise about rescuing and nurturing animals and people instead).
It has been crazy, I must say - I don't know how I'm gonna get there but I'm starting small and step by step. Of course I'm not going to abandon the spiritual healing. This will be integrated in and it already has been doing over a number of years eg. work with the beings that assist us in this area, often called angels, devas, fairies etc., working as a medium and healer with pets etc.
So here we go. Posts coming up and I will try and put them in order.
I know this blog is very important for me and I can understand why my boyfriend and other nature lovers do it now. It's not just for people to read. As with all my blogs, it's for me. Having spent the whole bloody day nearly on my own, I have had so many thoughts and I just have to have an outlet. To process. To understand things as a whole. And this is why diary writing is so therapeutic.
But I am also finding that, being largely on my own as per usual in this new hobby, through writing about all this, what I've seen and when, it really helps me to reflect on my progress and to create new ideas. It's like talking to myself. Supporting myself. Connecting with angels and devas etc. when needed.
So here goes. Scary woo...
This time, it's personal.
Joke ;-) I am now doing stuff like.....writing a bird log - a proper well-organised log of sighting dates and times, numbers, attempted identification of species, gender, age, etc. and recording exactly what they've been eating and how.
This isn't anal - it's helping me to learn exactly how much food and what kind of food to give them so that no money or food is wasted. I have very little money and even when I do, I hate waste - ecology etc!
Conservation as a career? Moi? Well I certainly got into it back when we were living in Geoffrey Road, Sparkhill. That was a thoroughly crap and depressing time of my life family-wise filled with arguments, and horrible things but... I am currently remembering the GOOD stuff. How I learned to connect with insects and heal my fear and past life connections with them, learning to conserve them etc. How I found the therapeutic effect of gardening - touching and working the earth with my bare hands. Really connecting on a deep level when necessary.
I never realised you could get paid for this stuff! I thought it was all voluntary somehow.
I've always enjoyed gardening with my Grandma, rescuing wildlife if I found it, (although sadly little opportunity there - I always wanted to do much more so I used to fantasise about rescuing and nurturing animals and people instead).
It has been crazy, I must say - I don't know how I'm gonna get there but I'm starting small and step by step. Of course I'm not going to abandon the spiritual healing. This will be integrated in and it already has been doing over a number of years eg. work with the beings that assist us in this area, often called angels, devas, fairies etc., working as a medium and healer with pets etc.
So here we go. Posts coming up and I will try and put them in order.
I know this blog is very important for me and I can understand why my boyfriend and other nature lovers do it now. It's not just for people to read. As with all my blogs, it's for me. Having spent the whole bloody day nearly on my own, I have had so many thoughts and I just have to have an outlet. To process. To understand things as a whole. And this is why diary writing is so therapeutic.
But I am also finding that, being largely on my own as per usual in this new hobby, through writing about all this, what I've seen and when, it really helps me to reflect on my progress and to create new ideas. It's like talking to myself. Supporting myself. Connecting with angels and devas etc. when needed.
So here goes. Scary woo...
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Let's post some more of my depressing poetry. Because people love depression. And maybe crying out for help works.
A running theme this season. My soul no longer wants to be a butterfly. I want to be an eagle.
Or perhaps no...
The Butterfly
I am a butterfly. I am sensitive, easily bruised and damaged. Easily scared away. I seek the highest harmony and beauty. I shy away from the slightest danger, death, destruction, pain, people hurting me emotionally...
This is, of course, normal and healthy for a lady or feminine, healing aspect of the soul in a dangerous world full of violence, misogyny, mistreatment of animals, denigration of women, of love itself, of care and nurture, and of course the denigration of men too which, sadly, I do hear now and then.
But...
Of course...
The world is beautiful and safe...
The Eagle
The new soul symbol that has emerged for me since January 28th is the eagle. (And the dragon).
I didn't like him at first!!!
Now I have written many poems.
The emerging theme seems to be fierceness, loneliness, adventurousness, travelling far to the mountains - my heart land? My soul's true homeland? A dark cave of self healing the deep inner pain. A place only I can go, alone... It is my destiny as an eagle to be fierce and alone yet, I long for company, for the protective love of the father (symbolically). Father eagle... <3 Here they are: The Great Eagle Father
Tonight, this eagle wants to fly home.
Home to the nest.
To be greeted by the welcoming outstretched wing of the eagle father.
To be enfolded in the loving, protective embrace...
2nd March 2012
God the Father
God the Father
God the Daughter
God the Loving Spirit
God... I need the energy of the father in my life. Dark, comforting, loving, steadfastly so. Big strong, steadfast love. A big strong hand of love and confidence on my back. A rub on the shoulders. A loving word whispered. To be held, for so long, and stroked. To be kissed, on the head. To be protected. Enfolded.
2nd March 2012
The sun is glorious. The air is sweet. And I can only think of you...
And vast plains of mudflats, stretching out forever...
The fresh, sweet wind...
The deep blue skies stretching on forever, to eternity...
3rd March 2012 (Excerpt)
My heart is like a caged bird<\b>
My heart is like a caged bird.
Wings clipped.
Back bruised.
Feathers falling out,
I try to cry out, but cannot.
I see a beautiful glimmer of hazy light,
Faint above me.
Is it there, or am I imagining?
I do not know anymore.
I do not know if I believe in magic anymore.
The magic.
Yet I want to.
I feel so lonely.
I know there are others there, but it's not enough.
It feels selfish. I feel guilty and ashamed.
But there's only one person I want.
The sun.
I want to return to the sun again finally.
3rd March 2012
And in these dark times,
When I feel surrounded by those that hate me.
Oppressed by an aura of fear, guilt and hate,
I close my eyes and remember those that loved me.
Moments of love. Golden aura.
I dream of a time, of a place where everyone loves me.
3rd March 2012
Great Eagle Soul
Carry me away from here.
Enwrap me in your darkest wings
and carry me away, high into the mountains.
I cannot be here any more.
3rd March 2012
Rescue Me
Rescue me.
Hold me up when I can support myseld no longer,
Enfold your arms around me with loving assistance.
Because I can manage no longer.
3rd March 2012
Or perhaps no...
The Butterfly
I am a butterfly. I am sensitive, easily bruised and damaged. Easily scared away. I seek the highest harmony and beauty. I shy away from the slightest danger, death, destruction, pain, people hurting me emotionally...
This is, of course, normal and healthy for a lady or feminine, healing aspect of the soul in a dangerous world full of violence, misogyny, mistreatment of animals, denigration of women, of love itself, of care and nurture, and of course the denigration of men too which, sadly, I do hear now and then.
But...
Of course...
The world is beautiful and safe...
The Eagle
The new soul symbol that has emerged for me since January 28th is the eagle. (And the dragon).
I didn't like him at first!!!
Now I have written many poems.
The emerging theme seems to be fierceness, loneliness, adventurousness, travelling far to the mountains - my heart land? My soul's true homeland? A dark cave of self healing the deep inner pain. A place only I can go, alone... It is my destiny as an eagle to be fierce and alone yet, I long for company, for the protective love of the father (symbolically). Father eagle... <3 Here they are: The Great Eagle Father
Tonight, this eagle wants to fly home.
Home to the nest.
To be greeted by the welcoming outstretched wing of the eagle father.
To be enfolded in the loving, protective embrace...
2nd March 2012
God the Father
God the Father
God the Daughter
God the Loving Spirit
God... I need the energy of the father in my life. Dark, comforting, loving, steadfastly so. Big strong, steadfast love. A big strong hand of love and confidence on my back. A rub on the shoulders. A loving word whispered. To be held, for so long, and stroked. To be kissed, on the head. To be protected. Enfolded.
2nd March 2012
The sun is glorious. The air is sweet. And I can only think of you...
And vast plains of mudflats, stretching out forever...
The fresh, sweet wind...
The deep blue skies stretching on forever, to eternity...
3rd March 2012 (Excerpt)
My heart is like a caged bird<\b>
My heart is like a caged bird.
Wings clipped.
Back bruised.
Feathers falling out,
I try to cry out, but cannot.
I see a beautiful glimmer of hazy light,
Faint above me.
Is it there, or am I imagining?
I do not know anymore.
I do not know if I believe in magic anymore.
The magic.
Yet I want to.
I feel so lonely.
I know there are others there, but it's not enough.
It feels selfish. I feel guilty and ashamed.
But there's only one person I want.
The sun.
I want to return to the sun again finally.
3rd March 2012
And in these dark times,
When I feel surrounded by those that hate me.
Oppressed by an aura of fear, guilt and hate,
I close my eyes and remember those that loved me.
Moments of love. Golden aura.
I dream of a time, of a place where everyone loves me.
3rd March 2012
Great Eagle Soul
Carry me away from here.
Enwrap me in your darkest wings
and carry me away, high into the mountains.
I cannot be here any more.
3rd March 2012
Rescue Me
Rescue me.
Hold me up when I can support myseld no longer,
Enfold your arms around me with loving assistance.
Because I can manage no longer.
3rd March 2012
Saturday, 3 March 2012
Inner Pain Poem & Reflection, February 5th 2012
I don't really feel this way anymore.
Although I do feel a deep ache,
deep down.
But I felt that maybe by posting this,
by not hiding or being ashamed of my pain
any longer, I would finally be able to move on.
Because I want to move on now.
Move out. Move through, leave.
Leave Mummy's nest. It's springtime.
Reflecting back on what I wrote a month ago
(how time flies! Like the albatross)
I am coming to understand love as a conscious
choice. Partly!
And I still feel... Love us a feeling we can and
must feel for everyone at points.
The difference with being in love, perhaps then,
is a conscious choice to feel that love we normally
feel for everyone with increased depth, intensity,
and time. Time because it can involve thinking of
that person more. Or dedicating more of our time to
that person in any terms - contact, thought, deed,
visiting, etc.
But then... I could be wrong. Maybe all of that isn't
necessary always. Maybe love just is. Msybe you can't
word it or quantify it all the time.
Matty said on Wednesday 'Love is commitment'.
We didn't half argue about that one!
He bit my ear off over it for a good hour
the ratbag ;-)
I tried to argue that sometimes we commit out of
a sense of duty. A carer for a disabled brother
may be hitting their disabled brother. How is that love?
Of course, love may have been their initial motivation
and they may still feel love deep down, in the seed
of their heart. It's just that stress, through overwork,
and negative attitudes built up as a result of overwork
and a lifetime of stress, have clouded the horizon of
their heart.
Just as, with Matt, I felt resentment through years of stress
and mistreatment had built up so much as to obscure
the light of love entirely like a black cloud on the
horizon.
Mind you it can't be just that because although love has certainly
returned between me and Matt now time has eased the resentment and stress,
it's not couple love
anymore for me. I don't think it can be ever again.
That's the kind of thing you can't define.
You just have to trust your inner feeling.
---------------------------
Anyway, the poem from February:
When all else fails, a poem.
"Only in silence, the word;
Only in dark, the light;
Only in dying, life:
Bright the hawk's flight
on the empty sky"
The Creation of Éa
Today, my wounded soul will fly.
A tortured eagle, lonely, abandoned.
A battle scarred dragon, retreating to the nest.
High, in a cave on the mountains.
I can confess to noone my deepest inner pain. No more. It seems to create more pain and suffering.
Pain can only be silent, for a while.
I have failed, again. Deeply failed.
I am alone again.
I gave my heart, my soul, my everything again.
But no one wants my heart. No one wants my soul. No one wants my everything.
Everyone just wants a piece of me. A part. And perhaps this is normal. Perhaps this is life.
But I just wanted to give everything I had to one person.
Isn't that normal too?
I wish I could express this but I fear that, through expressing this, I will ruin my already ruined chances of an everlasting love even further.
And thus, the pain is contained.
Expressing my sadness seemed to be working so well. Until this week.
I have so much to give.
I wish someone wanted what I have to give.
I must be so wrong, so stupid.
I haven't felt this way in years. Or at least, I can't remember having felt this way, this deeply since...
In some strange ways, the way I feel this week - the way I perceive my past - I actually have begun to think that I only ever deeply loved one person in my entire life. Until now.
'Now' being a funny word. When that love is rejected, unwanted, where can it go? Can it survive?
My love, largely unwanted, is turning inward once more. Into my tortured heart cave. The bosom of myself.
Will my love die, nestling, churning in this bosom?
Will I die?
I know I will survive. I always do. Although I have come close, in my darkest of hours, to perishing before, with great fortune, I have been one of the lucky ones. Angels didn't rescue me in my darkest moments even though I wanted them to. Perhaps a violent argument was too dark a path for even an angel to tread. I was bloody lucky, although much misfortune befell me.
Will my love survive?
I hope so. But I need another soul to feed it. Too much anguish has been caused to me in the name of unrequited love? Yet... Perhaps I could. Perhaps only when love is unrequited one can truly feel its depth. Perhaps only when we feel unworthy, we truly want to become perfect. Sacrifice all to win love.
I am imperfect. Maybe I do need to change, to win love. Maybe this is the only way.
O for this to become the greatest love of my life. That is what I wish. To feel what I felt for... him again. I cannot speak his name, like Voldemort. He is the Voldemort of my heart.
You would not believe that I have been committed and married for 4 years, in other long term relationships for 2 years, and yet actually, I think the deepest love I ever felt was not for any of these people.
I wonder if he even knows? Deep in his eagle's cave. Would he care to know? Would it be beneficial to tell him?
I think he pretty much still hates me. But maybe it's just the way his depression makes him behave that makes me think that. I always have to call him etc. Doesn't reply to my messages. He doesn't put the phone down on me though.
The Voldemort of my heart - he taught me so much. I almost want to call him she, because in essence, he taught me so much about femininity. About my feminine soul. More than anyone has, apart from maybe my daughter and ex husband. He taught me my first lesson. The essence of what I needed to know.
I loved him with a depth that I hitherto could not have fathomed. It hurt. It ached. It pulsed. It drained me at times! It was my life. I waited... and waited... and waited... and waited, with the utmost faith, devotion and loyalty.
Last night, in my waking evening dreams, I had a conversation with him. One of those many conversations that I can never have with him in real life because he hates me and won't open up to me ever again? Maybe I should try with that one...
So I said to him, to....A. That I was so glad to have finally found another like him. Like he. I had waited for so long to find another like he...
Yet can I survive? Can I make it? Can I prove myself? Can I be perfect enough? Can I change enough? This time...
February 5th 2012
Although I do feel a deep ache,
deep down.
But I felt that maybe by posting this,
by not hiding or being ashamed of my pain
any longer, I would finally be able to move on.
Because I want to move on now.
Move out. Move through, leave.
Leave Mummy's nest. It's springtime.
Reflecting back on what I wrote a month ago
(how time flies! Like the albatross)
I am coming to understand love as a conscious
choice. Partly!
And I still feel... Love us a feeling we can and
must feel for everyone at points.
The difference with being in love, perhaps then,
is a conscious choice to feel that love we normally
feel for everyone with increased depth, intensity,
and time. Time because it can involve thinking of
that person more. Or dedicating more of our time to
that person in any terms - contact, thought, deed,
visiting, etc.
But then... I could be wrong. Maybe all of that isn't
necessary always. Maybe love just is. Msybe you can't
word it or quantify it all the time.
Matty said on Wednesday 'Love is commitment'.
We didn't half argue about that one!
He bit my ear off over it for a good hour
the ratbag ;-)
I tried to argue that sometimes we commit out of
a sense of duty. A carer for a disabled brother
may be hitting their disabled brother. How is that love?
Of course, love may have been their initial motivation
and they may still feel love deep down, in the seed
of their heart. It's just that stress, through overwork,
and negative attitudes built up as a result of overwork
and a lifetime of stress, have clouded the horizon of
their heart.
Just as, with Matt, I felt resentment through years of stress
and mistreatment had built up so much as to obscure
the light of love entirely like a black cloud on the
horizon.
Mind you it can't be just that because although love has certainly
returned between me and Matt now time has eased the resentment and stress,
it's not couple love
anymore for me. I don't think it can be ever again.
That's the kind of thing you can't define.
You just have to trust your inner feeling.
---------------------------
Anyway, the poem from February:
When all else fails, a poem.
"Only in silence, the word;
Only in dark, the light;
Only in dying, life:
Bright the hawk's flight
on the empty sky"
The Creation of Éa
Today, my wounded soul will fly.
A tortured eagle, lonely, abandoned.
A battle scarred dragon, retreating to the nest.
High, in a cave on the mountains.
I can confess to noone my deepest inner pain. No more. It seems to create more pain and suffering.
Pain can only be silent, for a while.
I have failed, again. Deeply failed.
I am alone again.
I gave my heart, my soul, my everything again.
But no one wants my heart. No one wants my soul. No one wants my everything.
Everyone just wants a piece of me. A part. And perhaps this is normal. Perhaps this is life.
But I just wanted to give everything I had to one person.
Isn't that normal too?
I wish I could express this but I fear that, through expressing this, I will ruin my already ruined chances of an everlasting love even further.
And thus, the pain is contained.
Expressing my sadness seemed to be working so well. Until this week.
I have so much to give.
I wish someone wanted what I have to give.
I must be so wrong, so stupid.
I haven't felt this way in years. Or at least, I can't remember having felt this way, this deeply since...
In some strange ways, the way I feel this week - the way I perceive my past - I actually have begun to think that I only ever deeply loved one person in my entire life. Until now.
'Now' being a funny word. When that love is rejected, unwanted, where can it go? Can it survive?
My love, largely unwanted, is turning inward once more. Into my tortured heart cave. The bosom of myself.
Will my love die, nestling, churning in this bosom?
Will I die?
I know I will survive. I always do. Although I have come close, in my darkest of hours, to perishing before, with great fortune, I have been one of the lucky ones. Angels didn't rescue me in my darkest moments even though I wanted them to. Perhaps a violent argument was too dark a path for even an angel to tread. I was bloody lucky, although much misfortune befell me.
Will my love survive?
I hope so. But I need another soul to feed it. Too much anguish has been caused to me in the name of unrequited love? Yet... Perhaps I could. Perhaps only when love is unrequited one can truly feel its depth. Perhaps only when we feel unworthy, we truly want to become perfect. Sacrifice all to win love.
I am imperfect. Maybe I do need to change, to win love. Maybe this is the only way.
O for this to become the greatest love of my life. That is what I wish. To feel what I felt for... him again. I cannot speak his name, like Voldemort. He is the Voldemort of my heart.
You would not believe that I have been committed and married for 4 years, in other long term relationships for 2 years, and yet actually, I think the deepest love I ever felt was not for any of these people.
I wonder if he even knows? Deep in his eagle's cave. Would he care to know? Would it be beneficial to tell him?
I think he pretty much still hates me. But maybe it's just the way his depression makes him behave that makes me think that. I always have to call him etc. Doesn't reply to my messages. He doesn't put the phone down on me though.
The Voldemort of my heart - he taught me so much. I almost want to call him she, because in essence, he taught me so much about femininity. About my feminine soul. More than anyone has, apart from maybe my daughter and ex husband. He taught me my first lesson. The essence of what I needed to know.
I loved him with a depth that I hitherto could not have fathomed. It hurt. It ached. It pulsed. It drained me at times! It was my life. I waited... and waited... and waited... and waited, with the utmost faith, devotion and loyalty.
Last night, in my waking evening dreams, I had a conversation with him. One of those many conversations that I can never have with him in real life because he hates me and won't open up to me ever again? Maybe I should try with that one...
So I said to him, to....A. That I was so glad to have finally found another like him. Like he. I had waited for so long to find another like he...
Yet can I survive? Can I make it? Can I prove myself? Can I be perfect enough? Can I change enough? This time...
February 5th 2012
Actually maybe I'll keep this as my rough, work-in-progress blog
Here's todays's inner pain.
Maybe this can be my inner pain blog.
My heart is like a caged bird
(A sort of opposé parody of 'Birthday' by Christina Rosetti, a song I wanted to put on Sound Cloud in time for Valentine's Day, dedicated to my new darling beloved, but unfortunately I got some notes wrong on the recording and Dad's back was too sore and he was too grumpy to accompany me anymore. Story of my life :-( ).
My heart is like a caged bird.
Wings clipped.
Back bruised.
Feathers falling out,
I try to cry out, but cannot.
I see a beautiful glimmer of hazy light,
Faint above me.
Is it there, or am I imagining?
I do not know anymore.
I do not know if I believe in magic anymore.
The magic.
Yet I want to.
I feel so lonely.
I know there are others there, but it's not enough.
It feels selfish. I feel guilty and ashamed.
But there's only one person I want.
The sun.
I want to return to the sun again finally.
Twelve months ago (must be a planetary return?) I wrote and drew that everyone needs a sun to revolve around.
I loved the idea that we as humans work best when our lives model the very solar system, the universe.
We are the sun. That great, glowing, golden hot star. Our friends, our lovers are planets and bodies revolving around us, and they too can be a sun in our lives.
But we can only have one true sun. (Can we? Are their solar systems with two suns? I love triple moon imaginings)
I can only have one sun. Even if I am not wanted as a sun, which I feel I am not.
There can be only one person I think of, every morning, every night. Throughout the day. Only one person I can truly miss and need in those dark moments, those aching moments of loneliness.
And that is being in love, isn't it?
Is it a conscious choice?
Or can't we control who we end up falling in love with?
I'm beginning to feel that it's conscious. Partly.
I could choose to stop feeling this.
But I choose not to. I want to continue.
Even if I am like Pluto, the dark planet, orbiting far away, erratically from my dear sun.
I do feel complete now my baby girl's here. A golden ray of sunshine in my life. Maybe we can have many suns.
How many suns do I have?
Who would I choose to revolve around?
I need Matty in my life. I need Davey. I need Jay... I need Phil. Colette. Claire. And my family, in smaller doses than I currently have!
I can't seem to take too much of one person. Is this normal? Too much time spent with any one person and it gets too intense. Too negative.
But mind you, the same does happen when I spend too little time with someone! Resentment builds up. Or fear. Guilt. Or paranoia.
Is this normal and all part of the human process?
Is it a result of years of an isolated lifestyle?
Or past trauma, eg. parting on bad terms to begin with?
I think it's just normal.
I think we have to go with our feelings in life in order to create and maintain that delicate, fine balance of planetary and stellar movements.
When we miss someone, call them.
If we don't, don't.
Or something.
How does this work practically? How will I ever manage living with someone full time? Maybe I never will. Travelling enables people to spend time apart. Holidays. Breaks to new places enable fresh perspectives. And people grow and change. I am hoping that this time, we will have many different, wonderful sides to ourselves that we can express to one another. That will be fun. Truly truly fun. Two multi-faceted people together. And apart. A dance of two birds, who fly together for a time in that wonderful wild dance, then one flies, migrates, searches for food...Mother birds also leave their babies in the end, returning, I hope, now and then.
I don't think the solution to my guilt, paranoia, resentment is daily forgiveness, love and trust exercises alone. Although these do help and form an important part.
After all, I wouldn't be where I am now in terms of my consciousness if it weren't for that beautiful message last night from Doreen Virtue and perhaps the angels on Twitter. If it weren't for the wonderful love I've been shown from John, and the wonderful memories I have to hold. They really do help, in moments of darkness and doubt and mistrust - the Valentine's avocet and beautiful message. The calendar now turned to March :-) as one month turns, so love turns. So life turns and progresses. The postcard, now in my handbag to remind me of love...
And the wonderful phone calls.
And the wonderful love and support from Davey, Matty and Phil in this time. And Claire and Colette, Nicky, Hena... But Matty and Davey in particular because it means so mucb to me right now that they still love and support me. It's so magical that our relationships are better now, like this. It does make me worry that there's something wrong with me, that no one can handle constant contact with me. That I'm just too intense. Abhorrent. Wrong. Evil. Unpleasant to be around except in small doses. But maybe it's not true. Maybe I'm just a butterfly, as Davey says.
Maybe this can be my inner pain blog.
My heart is like a caged bird
(A sort of opposé parody of 'Birthday' by Christina Rosetti, a song I wanted to put on Sound Cloud in time for Valentine's Day, dedicated to my new darling beloved, but unfortunately I got some notes wrong on the recording and Dad's back was too sore and he was too grumpy to accompany me anymore. Story of my life :-( ).
My heart is like a caged bird.
Wings clipped.
Back bruised.
Feathers falling out,
I try to cry out, but cannot.
I see a beautiful glimmer of hazy light,
Faint above me.
Is it there, or am I imagining?
I do not know anymore.
I do not know if I believe in magic anymore.
The magic.
Yet I want to.
I feel so lonely.
I know there are others there, but it's not enough.
It feels selfish. I feel guilty and ashamed.
But there's only one person I want.
The sun.
I want to return to the sun again finally.
Twelve months ago (must be a planetary return?) I wrote and drew that everyone needs a sun to revolve around.
I loved the idea that we as humans work best when our lives model the very solar system, the universe.
We are the sun. That great, glowing, golden hot star. Our friends, our lovers are planets and bodies revolving around us, and they too can be a sun in our lives.
But we can only have one true sun. (Can we? Are their solar systems with two suns? I love triple moon imaginings)
I can only have one sun. Even if I am not wanted as a sun, which I feel I am not.
There can be only one person I think of, every morning, every night. Throughout the day. Only one person I can truly miss and need in those dark moments, those aching moments of loneliness.
And that is being in love, isn't it?
Is it a conscious choice?
Or can't we control who we end up falling in love with?
I'm beginning to feel that it's conscious. Partly.
I could choose to stop feeling this.
But I choose not to. I want to continue.
Even if I am like Pluto, the dark planet, orbiting far away, erratically from my dear sun.
I do feel complete now my baby girl's here. A golden ray of sunshine in my life. Maybe we can have many suns.
How many suns do I have?
Who would I choose to revolve around?
I need Matty in my life. I need Davey. I need Jay... I need Phil. Colette. Claire. And my family, in smaller doses than I currently have!
I can't seem to take too much of one person. Is this normal? Too much time spent with any one person and it gets too intense. Too negative.
But mind you, the same does happen when I spend too little time with someone! Resentment builds up. Or fear. Guilt. Or paranoia.
Is this normal and all part of the human process?
Is it a result of years of an isolated lifestyle?
Or past trauma, eg. parting on bad terms to begin with?
I think it's just normal.
I think we have to go with our feelings in life in order to create and maintain that delicate, fine balance of planetary and stellar movements.
When we miss someone, call them.
If we don't, don't.
Or something.
How does this work practically? How will I ever manage living with someone full time? Maybe I never will. Travelling enables people to spend time apart. Holidays. Breaks to new places enable fresh perspectives. And people grow and change. I am hoping that this time, we will have many different, wonderful sides to ourselves that we can express to one another. That will be fun. Truly truly fun. Two multi-faceted people together. And apart. A dance of two birds, who fly together for a time in that wonderful wild dance, then one flies, migrates, searches for food...Mother birds also leave their babies in the end, returning, I hope, now and then.
I don't think the solution to my guilt, paranoia, resentment is daily forgiveness, love and trust exercises alone. Although these do help and form an important part.
After all, I wouldn't be where I am now in terms of my consciousness if it weren't for that beautiful message last night from Doreen Virtue and perhaps the angels on Twitter. If it weren't for the wonderful love I've been shown from John, and the wonderful memories I have to hold. They really do help, in moments of darkness and doubt and mistrust - the Valentine's avocet and beautiful message. The calendar now turned to March :-) as one month turns, so love turns. So life turns and progresses. The postcard, now in my handbag to remind me of love...
And the wonderful phone calls.
And the wonderful love and support from Davey, Matty and Phil in this time. And Claire and Colette, Nicky, Hena... But Matty and Davey in particular because it means so mucb to me right now that they still love and support me. It's so magical that our relationships are better now, like this. It does make me worry that there's something wrong with me, that no one can handle constant contact with me. That I'm just too intense. Abhorrent. Wrong. Evil. Unpleasant to be around except in small doses. But maybe it's not true. Maybe I'm just a butterfly, as Davey says.
Thursday, 16 February 2012
This Blog is Moving
Dear readers,
I am going to experiment with moving this blog over to Word Press, as the interface is more professional and appears to be more widely used. I will keep my old posts on here, mainly, because I want to show my spiritual journey and progression. To show that I am human, and can err!
However do know that the new blog on wordpress will contain only the posts that are of a high vibration, so to speak - the best of my work. No ranting, or stress. Work that spiritually teaches in the best way that I can. That's the theory ;-)
Hope to see you on there. If you are used to using this, I can perhaps continue to post any new work on this blog but for the time being, I'm keeping it simple.
The new address is: http://galadrielcrystal.wordpress.com/
Love, light and blessings,
Natalie
I am going to experiment with moving this blog over to Word Press, as the interface is more professional and appears to be more widely used. I will keep my old posts on here, mainly, because I want to show my spiritual journey and progression. To show that I am human, and can err!
However do know that the new blog on wordpress will contain only the posts that are of a high vibration, so to speak - the best of my work. No ranting, or stress. Work that spiritually teaches in the best way that I can. That's the theory ;-)
Hope to see you on there. If you are used to using this, I can perhaps continue to post any new work on this blog but for the time being, I'm keeping it simple.
The new address is: http://galadrielcrystal.wordpress.com/
Love, light and blessings,
Natalie
Monday, 2 January 2012
The Century of Life
The Century of Death or The Century of Life?
As I sit watching one of the Norton Lectures by Leonard Bernstein from the 1973-6, I hear him refer to the 20th Century as 'The century of death', with the composer Gustav Mahler as the prophet, in musical form.
This is interesting. I too remember feeling this as we studied the First and Second World Wars in High School, and later, the Cold War. Never before have so many been lost for so few?
Yet now, it no longer resonates with me. Interestingly, someone (a duke?), has recently called for a reform in the way that we teach history in schools. He feels that we should no longer teach the Second World War as it gives pupils a negative view of Germany. I partly agree - it certainly taught me a fear of Germany which I have actively had to heal, even though we had counterbalancing language and culture lessons (albeit only up to Year 9 -aged 14), I later tried to learn German again at university, and I have spent years singing German-language, largely Austrian classical repertoire. I have tried quite a lot over the years to mentally, intellectually and spiritually make peace with Germany in my heart.
Looking back, I now feel that the 20th Century was not only the century of death, but also, the century of life. Of light. The century in which we in the West, and hopefully elsewhere in the world too, began to realise that the best way to live is to love and understand one another on a global level, working towards peace, harmony and unity - Elysium. Brother and sisterhood.
And I think that we did very well.
Ok, we have teething problems.
We probably always will.
But I honestly think the world is a better place now, as a whole, than it ever has been.
I think we are learning through our conflict in the Middle East and in Afghanistan that we can intervene in order to create peace and better nations and, gradually, I think we will work out a method that involves the least suffering and fewest lives lost that are possible. I truly believe that, if we haven't done it already.
We are truly in a special time and communication developments are a massive key to all this - avaaz.org, 38 degrees, HM Petitions, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, email, forums, all serve to create a sense of unity. Of togetherness. Of peaceful and loving communication. Of questioning authority peacefully, communicating with those we never dared to communicate with to ask a simple question - how? why? To bring love, light and blessing worldwide.
I am so grateful for the true light bringers in our world - all of us can and are! Including who have no spiritual practice. Including 'ordinary people'. We are all moved naturally, from the seat of our souls, to create justice, world peace, love and harmony.
Have compassion for those who are struggling with poverty, anger, violence and depression. We can help them! Through love, professional services, peaceful yet open communication, support and community. Do not leave anyone behind in this ascension! There is no need to. It is possible to help each other and of course, help ourselves! Through helping ourselves, we truly are able to help others.
In the public eye, I give thanks to the work of Barack Obama, the armies who are trying their best to create world peace in their own way, to the Royal Family in the UK who really try to make a holistic difference, in particular HRH Prince Charles and HM the Queen. I give thanks to Tony Blair and to David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown for trying their best in these challenging times.
I give thanks to the public, for celebrities for finally overthrowing and challenging the power that really needed to be questioned and put to a stop - the bullying power of the media. (Note that I do not direct this at individuals - everyone deserves forgiveness, teaching and understanding, a second chance.)
I give thanks to all the other wonderful spiritual teachers, leaders and healers out there from all faiths, non-faiths and backgrounds, in the public eye and out of it.
I give thanks to those who are working towards a holistic way of thinking - pushing the boundaries of possibility through interdisciplinary research, thinking and teaching, changing the way we work and live our lives!
Soon, more and more men may choose a part time job so they can nurse their babies! Career women will realise that a little mothering is ok, and structures will continue to become flexible enough for parents to really nurture themselves, their children, and their careers.
I pray that in developing countries and in Islam, women will be given increasing equality this century. An equal footing and equal rights. There is so much work to be done in this area.
As I sign out, I am so grateful that we are living in such a wonderful time! With so much potential for change and transformation!
I really feel that we're at the dawn of a new age! I really feel that millennium feeling once again! Even though, according to our western maths system, it's not, I really feel that the millennium is upon us! I feel at the gateway of a new era, a new dimension! Perhaps the Mayan calendar really has a rightness here in the highest, most positive sense!
Blessed be you all, love light and happiness shine upon you today and in 2012, and in this wonderful New Age xxxxx
As I sit watching one of the Norton Lectures by Leonard Bernstein from the 1973-6, I hear him refer to the 20th Century as 'The century of death', with the composer Gustav Mahler as the prophet, in musical form.
This is interesting. I too remember feeling this as we studied the First and Second World Wars in High School, and later, the Cold War. Never before have so many been lost for so few?
Yet now, it no longer resonates with me. Interestingly, someone (a duke?), has recently called for a reform in the way that we teach history in schools. He feels that we should no longer teach the Second World War as it gives pupils a negative view of Germany. I partly agree - it certainly taught me a fear of Germany which I have actively had to heal, even though we had counterbalancing language and culture lessons (albeit only up to Year 9 -aged 14), I later tried to learn German again at university, and I have spent years singing German-language, largely Austrian classical repertoire. I have tried quite a lot over the years to mentally, intellectually and spiritually make peace with Germany in my heart.
Looking back, I now feel that the 20th Century was not only the century of death, but also, the century of life. Of light. The century in which we in the West, and hopefully elsewhere in the world too, began to realise that the best way to live is to love and understand one another on a global level, working towards peace, harmony and unity - Elysium. Brother and sisterhood.
And I think that we did very well.
Ok, we have teething problems.
We probably always will.
But I honestly think the world is a better place now, as a whole, than it ever has been.
I think we are learning through our conflict in the Middle East and in Afghanistan that we can intervene in order to create peace and better nations and, gradually, I think we will work out a method that involves the least suffering and fewest lives lost that are possible. I truly believe that, if we haven't done it already.
We are truly in a special time and communication developments are a massive key to all this - avaaz.org, 38 degrees, HM Petitions, Twitter, Facebook, blogs, email, forums, all serve to create a sense of unity. Of togetherness. Of peaceful and loving communication. Of questioning authority peacefully, communicating with those we never dared to communicate with to ask a simple question - how? why? To bring love, light and blessing worldwide.
I am so grateful for the true light bringers in our world - all of us can and are! Including who have no spiritual practice. Including 'ordinary people'. We are all moved naturally, from the seat of our souls, to create justice, world peace, love and harmony.
Have compassion for those who are struggling with poverty, anger, violence and depression. We can help them! Through love, professional services, peaceful yet open communication, support and community. Do not leave anyone behind in this ascension! There is no need to. It is possible to help each other and of course, help ourselves! Through helping ourselves, we truly are able to help others.
In the public eye, I give thanks to the work of Barack Obama, the armies who are trying their best to create world peace in their own way, to the Royal Family in the UK who really try to make a holistic difference, in particular HRH Prince Charles and HM the Queen. I give thanks to Tony Blair and to David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Gordon Brown for trying their best in these challenging times.
I give thanks to the public, for celebrities for finally overthrowing and challenging the power that really needed to be questioned and put to a stop - the bullying power of the media. (Note that I do not direct this at individuals - everyone deserves forgiveness, teaching and understanding, a second chance.)
I give thanks to all the other wonderful spiritual teachers, leaders and healers out there from all faiths, non-faiths and backgrounds, in the public eye and out of it.
I give thanks to those who are working towards a holistic way of thinking - pushing the boundaries of possibility through interdisciplinary research, thinking and teaching, changing the way we work and live our lives!
Soon, more and more men may choose a part time job so they can nurse their babies! Career women will realise that a little mothering is ok, and structures will continue to become flexible enough for parents to really nurture themselves, their children, and their careers.
I pray that in developing countries and in Islam, women will be given increasing equality this century. An equal footing and equal rights. There is so much work to be done in this area.
As I sign out, I am so grateful that we are living in such a wonderful time! With so much potential for change and transformation!
I really feel that we're at the dawn of a new age! I really feel that millennium feeling once again! Even though, according to our western maths system, it's not, I really feel that the millennium is upon us! I feel at the gateway of a new era, a new dimension! Perhaps the Mayan calendar really has a rightness here in the highest, most positive sense!
Blessed be you all, love light and happiness shine upon you today and in 2012, and in this wonderful New Age xxxxx
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